Carol Moorehead

GriefShare: Finding Strength in Sharing the Load

December 2024 IssueCarolMoorhead1224

by Lesley Kyle
Photography by Lindsay Pettinicchi Photography, LLC


While there are many differences between us as individuals, one common denominator that unites us all is the grief we feel after losing a loved one.
 
In 2003, Carol Moorehead and her husband, Richard, drove from their home in New Jersey to Florida, deciding to visit friends in Hilton Head along the way. They immediately fell in love with the Island and began looking for a home. Carol and Richard were unable to find the house of their dreams in the tight real estate market during that first visit. However, Carol’s friend of 55 years (who was not a realtor) said, “I’ll find one for you!” So, Carol and Richard continued on their trip to Florida, and sure enough, her friend found them a home. On their way back north, they visited the listing, entered into a bidding war, and were initially elated when their offer was accepted.

As a seasoned realtor, Carol had seen buyer’s remorse many times. She ran two successful RE/MAX franchises in Morris County, New Jersey, where she was known for gifting her clients with a new socks at every closing. The socks, Carol would tell her clients, were intended to warm their cold feet if they had doubts about their new purchase—a literal meaning of a housewarming gift. Carol pined for a pair of socks of her own once they closed on their second home on Hilton Head. But the anxiety soon passed and washed out to sea with the rolling waves and sunshine.

Years later in 2017, when the couple’s blended family were happily living their own adult lives, Richard and Carol pulled up their Northern roots to become full-time Islanders. Married for 20 years, they enjoyed their years together on Hilton Head before Richard passed away. Sadly, Richard’s passing was not Carol’s first encounter with the death of a precious loved one. She lost her adult son, Jimmy, unexpectedly 24 years ago, as well.

To try to help her pain, Carol joined a grief group in New Jersey after Jimmy passed away. Meeting parents with similar losses, she found ways to help other grieving parents. “I realized helping someone else who had lost a child was helping me,” Carol said. “It’s up to us to help others.”

Once settled in Hilton Head, Carol and Richard joined Providence Presbyterian Church. For years, Carol wanted to start a grieving group in Hilton Head, but the timing and circumstances were never right. Carol mentioned the idea to her pastor, who thought a grief support group was a wonderful idea. He found GriefShare online, and he and Carol agreed to launch the program at Providence. Unfortunately, time was not on their side, as the launch took place just as COVID hit. The first group participant signed up immediately, but the program was postponed because Carol didn’t want to conduct those very personal meetings online. While the group got off to a later-than-expected start, that first zealous participant not only signed up for the GriefShare group, she also eventually became a Providence church member, deacon, and GriefShare group facilitator—a testament to the power of this program.


GriefShare is a 13-week program that combines lessons from videos, a workbook, and in-person support meetings. The series of weekly meetings is designed for everyone who has lost a loved one from a spouse to a child to a friend to a co-worker. “It’s a difficult journey, but it’s easier when you do it together,” said Carol. Soon, other area churches began offering GriefShare to area residents, as well.

Providence Presbyterian Church’s GriefShare facilitators have all completed the training program. “It’s not about us,” said Carol. “We’re all working toward a new normal, and without GriefShare, it can be a very lonely journey.” While the program is open to everyone, most participants have lost loved ones between six months to two years ago. The first few months are typically very difficult as those who are left behind begin to adjust.

More recently, Carol started a small grieving group for people whose children have passed. Carol also plans to develop and offer a one-day seminar in the spring and fall. The seminar aims to teach community members how to prepare for a loved one’s passing and will address administrative and practical topics. Topics like handling credit cards, bills, and settling taxes are under consideration. Professionals and thought leaders will address timely and important topics for those who are struggling to navigate their new normal.

While Carol continues to mourn the loss of her son and husband, she feels very blessed to be where she is. Carol finds healing in her church, GriefShare work, and helping others. “One of the best ways to stop hurting so much is to help others,” suggested Carol. “You’re not thinking of yourself, and getting out and seeing others gives you a feeling of purpose. As long as people need help, we’ll be there.”

 

Up Close:

Hometown: Kearny, New Jersey

Career: Retired second-grade teacher and realtor

Family: Three children, 17 grandchildren, and one great-grandson

Join a GriefShare Group: A new GriefShare class has started at Providence Presbyterian, and it’s not too late to join. The class meets on Mondays at 5:30 pm in the Mills Building, Room 6. The program is open to all. If you, or anyone you know, is grieving the death of a child, spouse, parent or close friend, please contact This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to learn more about the program.