I’m a good mom…and I lost my child.

On Memorial Day, 2019, I was served papers for custody and visitation by my daughter’s biological father. This came as quite a surprise, considering the last time he’d seen her was two years before at a Chick-fil-A for an hour.

Rewind to 2015, before my daughter was born. I was pregnant and he and I had broken up after trying to work things out. Nothing had changed: He had a drug and alcohol problem and couldn’t hold down a job. I knew I could do this on my own, and I was on a mission to be the best mom I could be. When she was only 6 months old, he made the decision to move out of state.

Are you into gardening? Please say yes. It’s a kind of miracle. Food you grow tastes better, costs less, has greater nutritional value AND it leaves a carbon footprint the size of a grape.
Gardening isn’t an aerobic sport, and it won’t grow your fitness the way running, walking and biking will, but it sure can produce lots of pleasure, not to mention kale, spinach and tomatoes.
Gardening also helps you cultivate a calm, focused mind while putting all the major muscles of your body to work—digging, lifting and carrying. Besides burning calories, gardening connects us to the earth, and it’s that mindful exchange of energy—you plant; nature grows—that is so joyful and satisfying.

Growing stuff in a garden is also a splendid way to plant ideas in your child’s brain about what is real food, and how good it can taste. Next thing you know, your 10-year-old is snacking on cauliflower chunks instead of corn chips, and goes to sleep at night dreaming of broccoli stalks the size of baseball bats.

When you were in school did you:
Have books to read at home?
Have your own textbooks?
Did your school have a library?

Rural schools in Kenya have few books, and in some cases, no books. Often 20-30 children must share one textbook. How would your education have been affected if you had to share your English, Math or Science book with even one other child?

The mission of Libraries for Kids, International, which is a South Carolina non-profit corporation, is to help rural schools with little or no electricity or internet establish libraries. The goal is to get as many books as possible in the hands of as many children as possible. Currently, the organization is operating in Kenya where there are more than 6,700 rural schools averaging about 225 students in each for a total of about 1.5 million children. So far, Libraries for Kids has created libraries in 1,609 schools, impacting 360,000 children.

With the advent of Botox and Dysport and various fillers to restore facial volume such as the Juvederm and Restylane products, Sculptra, etc., men and women alike have jumped on the bandwagon to take advantage of these products to look more youthful.

The goal should be to look younger and better, but not look freakish or different. Most patients want to enhance their looks and look more youthful. What they don’t want is to have others look at them and wonder “Why do you look strange and even disfigured?”

A little over ten years ago, local attorney and self-proclaimed “wild woman” Molly Day saw the need for a fundraiser that not only brought women together, but also supported and empowered women.

Enter the Wild Women’s Tea Party, an annual fundraising event of Lowcountry Legal Volunteers, that pairs champagne, food, fashion, prizes and fun during an afternoon that is a far cry from your grandmother’s tea party. This party is not only energetic, it is the epitome of women helping women!

It’s April, and my friend Bobby mentions he’s already bored with his running routine. (I’m a certified fitness trainer. People tell me these things.)

He’s on the treadmill most every day, pounding it out, mile after mile, sparking no joy whatsoever. But it’s still good for him, right? Not really. Exercise is the miracle drug we all know, but when your workouts are b-o-r-i-n-g, you’re more likely to get injured. Or quit! Bummer.

This column is dedicated to all the Bobbies out there who feel burned out and bored, who want to shake up their humdrum routine with something new, something fresh—something special from Preston’s Bag of Tricks for Beating the Workout Blahs:

I can sum up my response to the soaring price of gasoline in just one word: Aargh!

While waiting for prices to come down (Do you think they will?), don’t sit around complaining all the while paying through the nose to drive your car.

There are lots of things you can do to increase the number of miles you can squeeze out of each gallon of gas, effectively reducing its cost. Here are a few ways to get better gas mileage:

EMPTY THE TRUNK
Call it science. The heavier the car, the harder the engine must work to move it around. The harder the engine works, the more fuel it burns. So, unload all that stuff you’ve been carrying around in the trunk for no good reason. (Please, leave the spare tire and emergency equipment.) It’s a trunk, not a mini storage unit. Unload and you could easily increase your gas mileage by as much as 10 percent.

Beautiful container gardens can be showstoppers and brighten up the smallest of spaces. When #naturescalling, it's the perfect time to start planting. Your efforts will be rewarded, time-and-time again as you enjoy the fruits of your labor. This container garden is a work of art and you can play with and adjust it as the seasons change.

Learning how to live a happier, healthier lifestyle can be challenging, especially if there are crispy french fries on the table. But unlearning what you think you know is even trickier.

Our brains are constantly being reminded of stuff that simply isn’t true, like popular fitness myths that need unlearning and debunking, and that’s what I’m setting out to do today, aided by a lovely list assembled by the American Council on Exercise (ACE). (Disclaimer: I’m a member. They certify fitness trainers. I am one.)

I had never heard of a sugar scrub until the day I got too much sun. I asked my friend, who was a makeup artist, if she had a remedy for being too tan. I had an audition for some TV thing, and too tan is a no-no. She told me to mix some sugar and coconut oil together and rub it all over myself in the shower. Wow! That was a good time and it felt amazing! My skin felt as soft as a baby seal except without the fish breath. I was hooked but still tan. Oh well, no acting career for me but at least now I know what a sugar scrub is and how fantastic it makes your skin feel. It’s nature’s extra sweet exfoliant!

Ann Marie and Rob McPherson love living on Hilton Head Island.

They came here for years from the Washington, DC area for mini vacations to visit Rob’s parents, who had retired to the Island and settled in the beautiful Wexford community. After building a successful career, first as an officer on the USS Jacksonville fast attack submarine, then joining Accenture and rising quickly to partner, Rob and Ann Marie decided to join his parents in making Hilton Head their permanent home when Rob retired early. Naturally they bought in Wexford, too.

They had a beautiful, large home, but that house became a monstrosity when, soon after his retirement, Rob suffered a debilitating stroke at the age of 51, even though he was the picture of health. Left with many unknowns and a lot of new responsibilities, Ann Marie’s life also changed drastically, catapulting her into the driver’s seat for all McPherson family duties, responsibilities and decisions.

I have a personal question. It’s not intended to make you feel guilty (which is the mother of all useless emotions). It’s meant to tickle your neurons and invite thought.

What keeps you from exercising more?

You know you should. Exercise is the miracle cure for whatever ails you. Feeling tired? Depressed? Overcome with stress?

Get your body in motion. Regular, rhythmical exercise—over time—also helps prevent heart disease, diabetes and high blood pressure and is your truest and best friend when it comes to living a healthier, happier lifestyle.

But you know all that. Shoulda, woulda, coulda...

So what’s the answer? What keeps you from exercising more?

Memory Matters’ Brain Health Summit is coming up next month—March 11. Its name—Brain Health Summit—may sound intimidating, boring, or too scientific, but it’s anything but!This fun, educational event provides the most up-to-date information on the importance of brain health, how you can keep your brain young, and what innovations are underway to cure Alzheimer’s disease.

There’s nothing like a good story. Our imagination is ignited, our curiosity is elevated and our desire for knowledge is quenched. The Lowcountry boasts fantastic, true stories based on local history, and one of the best places to learn more is the Morris Center for Lowcountry Heritage in Ridgeland. It’s a learning and exhibition center dedicated to preserving and nurturing the history, culture and spirit of Jasper County and surrounding counties.

Their mission is to cultivate community understanding through education, preservation and celebration of the region’s rich history and culture. It is a facility where a wide diversity of people can gather to explore and learn about the area’s distinctive sense of place. Visitors will find dynamic exhibits, interactive learning opportunities, cultural offerings, storytelling and art. Executive Director Tamara Herring said, “We have a vast array of exhibitions where you can learn about the culture and traditions of the Lowcountry and enjoy the benefits of learning about where we live.”

I saw the funniest sign, but it wasn’t funny for long because I started to think about it. Suddenly, the humor melted away. The sign read: “Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and make bad decisions.”

Ouch! Those 15 words hit hard because I’ve made more than my share of bad money decisions in my life.

I’ve come a long way from that dark season of my life. I am determined to not go back but also to not live with regret for what might have been.

Born September 4, 1940 in Williamstown, New Jersey, and gifted with a huge heart, there is no doubt the late Mr. Thomas L. Curry was one special human. Growing up on a large farm in New Jersey, hunting, gathering and farming filled his daily life. Little did he know he would have a life-changing experience that would not only alter his mindset about life, but also change his heart, too.

When Thomas was in his early twenties, he was hunting with a friend, one of their common pastimes. His friend shot a deer but it did not kill it completely. While the friend didn’t seem to care as much, Thomas could not stop thinking about the deer. The next weekend, he found the deer hidden in a bush, biting away at itself, trying to get the bullet out of its body. With the gruesome scene and tears shed, Thomas decided right then and there his hunting days were over.

Writing has helped Vernie Singleton overcome a lot in her life. A very quiet child, almost to the point of being a hermit, Vernie never spoke out or spoke up. Whether it was at school in the classroom or at home she kept most of her thoughts to herself.

“Writing is a healing process. It helps me regurgitate and process my feelings and organize my thoughts. Writing has been a way for me to take my time and communicate my thoughts and things I want to say,” said Vernie.

Years ago, I was a guest on “The Maury Povich Show,” something I’ve never been that proud of. Back then, the show was kind of raunchy, and I just now realized that, some 20 years later, Maury is still at it.

I remember a few things about the show, like what I wore (What was I thinking?) and the nice production staff. Maury was very kind, too.

To say the last two years have been tough is an understatement. The COVID-19 pandemic has turned our lives upside down. The world literally stopped in March, 2020. Everything came to a screeching halt, schools and businesses went virtual overnight, restaurants and theaters closed, and travel shut down indefinitely. Yet, in the midst of this crazy “new normal”, we all desperately sought ways to stay connected with friends, colleagues and, especially, our families.

Have you ever tried walking meditation? It’s a gentle and giant step into the world of Zen. And in case you’ve just returned from planet Elsewhere, Zen is trending big here on Earth. There are Zen retreats, Zen smoothies, Zen comics, Zen methods of diapering and accounting and an actual book called “Zen and the Art of Casino Gaming.”

“Zazen” is the Japanese word for seated meditation, and kinhin is walking meditation. Both are proven methods for quieting the mind. Kinhin is a simple practice that gives you all the benefits of seated meditation—increased energy, equanimity, awareness—with zero risk of falling asleep.

Life is busy. No doubt about it. We hustle to work, take the kids to school and soccer and dance lessons, rush around to shop, cook, clean, we bring work home with us, participate in our church, club, and other social opportunities. It’s no wonder our culture has become one of convenience—pre-packaged foods, fast food restaurants, pizza delivery and comfort food overload. Stress is part of daily living, so we take a breath, if we remember, and push on. As such, we have become disconnected from nature, from each other, from a quality home life. It is this very lifestyle that is making us collectively sick.

With the year coming to an end, spirits are lifted, presents are gifted, and hearts are shifted.
The holidays bring out the giving spirit, but we found some ladies who are
dedicated to keeping spirits high all year round.

We are pleased to introduce you to these amazing leaders of just a few of the
Lowcountry’s finest organizations, all led by women.

Over the next six pages, enjoy learning and feeling the spirit of giving through caring souls,
advocacy and adoration for the Lowcountry and the people who live here.

As a junior in high school, it was almost time to take midterm exams. I dreaded midterms, but my French teacher made us students an offer I couldn’t refuse: If you participated in the old folks Christmas food drive, she would add 10 points to your midterm score. To be perfectly honest, I didn’t have a clue what I was signing up for, but for 10 extra points, I would be there!

I arrived at our high school along with many others and saw hundreds of paper grocery bags lining the walls of the gym. With the bags all numbered and in perfectly straight lines, the organized chaos commenced. Apparently, if any student had overdue library fees in December, they were allowed to bring in two canned goods and all was forgiven. The high school also partnered with one of the local elementary schools that held a contest to see which class could collect the most canned goods. All the donated items were then divided and distributed evenly among the numbered bags.

No one wants to talk about dying, that is for sure. And planning your own funeral is something many don’t even want to discuss. However, deciding your funeral arrangements in advance can give peace of mind to both you and your family when the time comes.

Why plan ahead?
While a great funeral home with a compassionate and caring staff will help guide you in making funeral arrangements for your loved one, it is so much easier if that loved one had a say in the process before they passed. The immense emotions that come with laying a loved one to rest are counterintuitive to making big, lasting decisions. As with any big decision in life, it’s helpful to have time to research and consider options, and funeral planning is no exception.

Dear Carrie:
My husband and I are curious about long-term care insurance. It all seems so confusing. How can we decide if (and when) we should buy it, and if so, what kind?  —A Reader

Dear Reader:

Not only am I glad you’re investigating one of the biggest risks to retirement security. I’m also really happy you’re looking at this issue together. If either one of you ultimately needs long-term care, it will impact you both.

Long-term care (LTC) insurance comes in a variety of shapes and sizes, but all policies have some features in common. I’ve talked about some basics and the importance of LTC insurance before, but choosing a policy requires some extra thought. Here’s what you need to know.
There Are Two Types of Policies: Standalone and Hybrid

Around the age of 75, many women begin skipping the recommended annual or biennial screening mammogram. Mary Legree is not one of them.

Recognizing the critical role mammograms play in helping catch breast cancer early, the 80-year-old Lady’s Island resident has never failed to get the imaging test, even though she has no history of the disease in her family.

This summer, her vigilance paid off.

The grass needs cutting, the baseboards are covered in dust, you are just back from the grocery store and what in the world are you going to cook for dinner?

These chores are just a part of daily living. However, they were much easier when we were younger and had more energy, especially when the children were still home to help. Now these same chores can be daunting, worrisome and tiring.

Many adults complain about their droopy eyelids. Their complaints can be cosmetic (my mirror keeps telling me I look tired), functional (my droopy eyelids are limiting my side vision), or both. Droopy eyelids are typically the result of increasing skin laxity, fat pad exposure, or weakening of the muscles that help position and elevate the upper eyelids. All these factors are present to some degree as we age and are commonly family traits.

The EmpowerRF Experience.
EmpowerRF is right for almost every woman! With seven different treatments on one platform, there is basically something for everyone. Any woman with vaginal dryness, pain with intercourse, stress urinary incontinence, overactive bladder, vaginal laxity, or lichen sclerosis will benefit. EmpowerRF uses radio-frequency energy to stimulate thermal remodeling, which results in new collagen and elastin formation, making the tissue more supple and elastic. This allows the tissue to expand and retract without tearing and provides better support for the surrounding structures.