Hissy Fit
...because everyone deserves one every once and awhile
I bet you have seen this bumper sticker:
Some would say it's hilarious, while others claim not so much. Don't worry though, as a Southerner, of course I know it's rude. Well, actually, it's just not sugarcoated enough. If it read, "Welcome to the South, Sugar! Bless your heart, I hope you have a marvelous trip home" no one would be offended at all. Sugarcoating is one of those talents of true Southerners-to be able to tell someone to go to hell, and make him look forward to the trip.
But, back to this welcome to the south, now go home business. Sometimes I have to wonder if this bumper sticker isn't too far off the warranted mark. I get confused as to why people move here, and then want to hate on it.
Doesn't it make more sense to live in a place that you think is wonderful? If the place you came from is that much better, the bridge is open both ways. I'm not saying leave, I'm just saying live where you're the happiest.
How many times have I heard the derogatory remark, "Welcome to the Slowcountry?" We know some of y'all think we're stupid, slow, or whatever you want to call it, but we still let you in front of us in traffic, and hold the door for you, too. We say hello with a smile, please and thank you; and yes, we teach our children to say, "Yes, Mam" and "No, Sir." Pretty smart if you ask me-sounds a whole lot more respectful than yea and no.
You see, I'm proud to be a Southerner. In fact, I am an eighth generation South Carolinian, and truly wouldn't want to be from anywhere else. I have always loved my state-for better or worse.
I know you love our weather and shoreline, but you probably think we're rednecks because of our accents and affinity for pickup trucks. I've actually always had a fondness for European cars.scandalous, huh?
Hollywood always portrays us as uneducated, simple-minded folk, but I know something they don't. Most southerners are warm, genuine, and will help you even if they're in a hurry (yes, we are capable of hurrying).
I was at the DMV the other day, where I met a lady who was very frustrated about getting the runaround as to where to register to vote. She was parked next to me, waiting to get into the passenger side of her car. That put her right beside my driver's door. As I approached my car, having heard her conversation with the clerk, I looked her squarely in the eyes, smiled, and said hello. She responded by saying, "This is the same screwed up South Carolina I used to know!"
Smiling again, I said to her, "Allow me to show you the South Carolina I've always known." That's when I pulled my miniature Hargray telephone book out of my car and looked up the Voter's Registration phone number for her. I then wrote it down on a piece of paper, and inquired as to whether she had a cell phone, or if she needed to borrow mine. She smiled, less frustrated. I gave her a hug, asked her if she was okay, and thanked her for caring enough to vote. Hopefully, I gave her a fresh perspective of my home state of South Carolina.
So, absolutely-welcome to the South! However, if you plan on staying a while, be sure to embrace your new Southern residence and make it home- sweet-home. After all, home should be sweet, Sugar, just like your iced tea!