The Pink Panel - June 2026
Moderated By Judith Lawrenson
Dear Pink Panel,
My last two on-line meet ups have been disastrous. Panel, please tell me how to avoid this kind of thing because I seem to be a big failure at spotting a phony.
I could even expand this to my recent luck with meeting new people in general.
I feel like I am missing cues. What are some signs or hints
to look for to avoid online dating scams or liars?
Signed,
Sandy
Answers from the Pink Panel
Judith Lawrenson, Moderator: The answers I received from our panelists for this question proved to be timely and universal. I love a question like this, and I also am very impressed that my panel, ages 15 to 82, are so on top of what is going on.
Riley: I have never personally done online dating, but here are some tips from my school friends and my cousin who recently had a bad experience: Be aware if the person tries to keep changing the subject when you ask personal questions. Deflecting is a big red flag indicating the person is covering up something. If their tone changes or they become aggressive, they probably want to avoid a subject. It is also easier to pick up these hints on a call or on FaceTime, so it may be a good idea to call them at some point and see what they are like in that format. Zoom is good too, especially to be sure they are not catfishing you and lying about things like their age.
Caroline: I would like to share a “no name” story based on someone who was feeling lonely (read as vulnerable). She saw a guy online who looked perfect. Tip No. 1: Too perfect. They typed each other for a long time, and that is Tip No. 2: Hear a voice. Finally, she asked him to call her or for her to call him. No, on both counts. Tip No. 3: Why do they want to not have any personal contact? Could we zoom? No, I am out of town, too busy, don’t know how to zoom etc. Yes, bad ending. The person was exposed to her online by another victim, and the next step would have been to ask for “help” in the form of gift cards. This is a sure warning. Confirm ASAP that you are in contact with a real person, check out their social media accounts, ask questions that you can verify, and finally, press for answers about what matters to YOU!
Renee: I have no online dating experience, but the second part of this question really hit home with me. I was recently burned by a person who I considered a true and dear friend, so I am questioning my ability to spot a phony at all. However, through this incident I found I should really trust my gut instinct and intuition. This has most often been true for me, and I need to remember that! I would never trust an online connection unless there is a face-to-face right away. I rely on body language, facial expression, and eye contact, so I think that any delay in wanting a face-to-face meeting should be a red flag. I also recommend asking questions right away and listening very carefully to the answers. If someone is too perfect, I would beware.
Judith Lawrenson, Moderator: Boy, I think online has a lot of drawbacks, but some of these tips may be extremely helpful. I also am aware of what Renee had to say about the loss of a seemingly close friend. I think there are signs there, too, like failure to return emails or phone calls, not showing up for events, being caught in lies, and maybe even hearing from someone else that you are being bad-mouthed by your so-called friend. As my idol Yogi Berra once said, “If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.” Be careful out there, ladies.
The Final Word, Elizabeth Millen: When I was first divorced, I tried online dating. However, I had an advantage—something that often comes with owning a magazine and being in charge of its content. With a long-time trusted friend, who had extensively researched online dating and various dating sites, we decided to do a four-part series to teach women how to date online and identify red flags. Phoebe Jayne, my brilliant online dating guru, provided the “how-to,” and I was the guinea pig who was supposed to follow her guidance. It was a great series which is still accessible at itsallpink.com.
I experienced scammers and a few duds, though never in person. I ended up meeting only one man in person, and he was actually pretty good. We were both from Columbia (SC) and had mutual friends and acquaintances. It didn’t work out, but we had about six good, respectful dates. He even cooked me dinner one night, and it was delicious. I still can’t roast Brussel sprouts like he can, but I’m all good. My friends explained to me that he was emotionally unavailable, a concept I don’t fully understand, but the on-again, off-again ghosting was beyond my tolerance level. Thanks to his inconsistency, I decided to be single and happy, and within a couple of months, my soulmate unexpectedly strolled into my life.
So, my No.1 suggestion is to get through any feelings of desperation before you even think about finding a new love interest. Desperation makes bad decisions that aren’t in your best interest. Get happy with yourself, and you will be surprised who floats into your orbit. In the meantime, log onto itsallpink.com for Phoebe Jayne’s Guide to Online Dating where you can glean her expertise and read about my crazy, online dating rumblings.
If you have a question for The Pink Panel, email Judith Lawrenson at at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. The Pink Panel will do their best to give thought-provoking guidance. Remember, panel members’ ages range from 15 to 80, so you are bound to get a wide variety of advice.
Meet This Month's Panel-----------------------------------
- Renee: accounts manager, youth group leader, grandmother. Renee recently started a women’s Bible study on the Book of Genesis, and there was so much
difference of opinion and argument she nearly quit! She stuck with it, made some modifications, and the group not only survived, but it is growing!
- Carolyn: mother of five, homeschooler, pharmacist, military spouse
- Judith Lawrenson: Pink Panel Moderator, freelance writer, volunteer, and educator
- Riley: rising high school freshman, active in sports, studious. science fair winner
- Elizabeth: publisher of Pink Magazine, business owner, mom, writer, observer of life and human behavior
If you have a question for The Pink Panel, email Judith Lawrenson at at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. The Pink Panel will do their best to give thought-provoking guidance. Remember, panel members’ ages range from 13 to 80, so you are bound to get a wide variety of advice.