The Pink Panel - March 2025 - NEW!

Moderated By Judith Lawrenson

Dear Pink Panel,
I belong to a club that’s holding an upcoming panel discussion event,
and I have been asked to be a panel member. I would love to participate,
but the topic is controversial, and I’m a pretty outspoken person.
Any tips for how to speak my “truth” without making enemies?
Signed,
Linda


Answers from the Pink Panel

1. Riley:
Sticking to your truth plays a big part in honesty, which reflects who you are as a person. Always being honest and truthful is essential to making friends in life. Everyone may have different opinions, and that’s all right as long as everyone is respected and shows kindness. I am a part of the student council at my school, and I’m always putting myself out there and giving my honest opinion to my peers. Frequently, this is not easy.

2. Renee:
In the past, I held the position of Ruling Elder on the session of my Presbyterian church, and there were many occasions when I was in a position of controversy with other members. My advice is to gather as much information as you can before you take a stand, then be sure to speak your mind in calmness and peace. This is imperative when you are working from a position of faith. If you keep your head and don’t become rattled, no one can fault your stand, even if they disagree. I can come to a place to disagree with others if neither them nor myself become angry. Even if you are passionate about a subject, it is important to speak from a place of peace. 

Additionally, if you remain calm and determined to find a solution and work together, everyone may find a place to learn and grow. Bottom line: Keep calm and know your topic. Even in disagreement, there is room to grow.  

3. Carolyn:
I have been on many panels and part of many discussion groups since we are a homeschooler family. It seems like we are always having meetings and discussion groups. I have several tips for being a person who always gives their honest opinion and still keeps good relations with people. 

First, always be mindful of your words. Do not be insensitive to the feelings of others. You can listen to what they say and put forth your ideas without being mean spirited or pushy. Next, always be respectful. Try to accept disagreement and understand that someone else’s honest opinion is just as valid as my own. Finally,  as a Christian, I believe we are all put here for a reason, and we are all different. Knowing this and acting with this in mind means we can all speak and listen, which builds both credibility and solutions.

4. Moderator Judith:
I loved this month’s question because it offers an abundance of answers. We have thoughts ranging from situations experienced on student council to Bible study leadership to business board of directors. My best piece of advice is to do your homework no matter what. Be sure whatever you say is fact-based and can be proved. No one can hold anything against you for stating a fact, whereas your personal opinion is up for debate with perhaps the opportunity for hurt feelings or even long-term animosity. 

5. The Final Word by Elizabeth:
This one is tricky because controversy is often accompanied by anger, staunch opinions, and even hate, depending on the topic. Before you agree to be on such a panel, be sure to understand the purpose of the panel. Is it to merely argue or actually find solutions? If it is a no-win topic, consider not joining in. If the cause is important to you, ask yourself why you want to be involved. Will you be able to make a difference? Is your intent to be right, to be heard, or be part of the solution? Are you capable of listening to others with opposing opinions and compromise in any way? Are you up for a fight? All of these are reasonable points to take into consideration before you say yes to joining such a panel. Controversy is never easy, so it’s imperative your participation is worth the anguish and stress on both you and your family that can come from being in the midst of controversial subjects and verbal public fights.

Another factor to consider is your depth of emotions regarding the goals of the panel. Stay off any panel that riles you to the point of seeing red. If you cannot keep your emotions in check, you are not ready to sit on a panel and rationally represent your side. Flared emotions will help you make enemies quickly and keep you from achieving positive points or results.

Finally, examine your personality. Are you usually comfortable with conflict or does it make you uneasy and break out in a rash? Some people’s nature is to avoid conflict at all costs, while other’s is to somewhat relish it. If you are a natural peacekeeper, controversy is probably not going to sit well with your nervous system. However, should you decide to be on the panel, you have to be willing to be truthful and talk candidly about the elephant in the room. If you can’t do that, don’t join the panel.

We can all make a difference, but how we go about it should suit our nature. This is the arena where we will thrive, where we will be heard best, and where being a part of something can surely be rewarding.

If you have a question for The Pink Panel, email Judith Lawrenson at at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. The Pink Panel will do their best to give thought-provoking guidance. Remember, panel members’ ages range from 13 to 80, so you are bound to get a wide variety of advice.

Meet the Panel--------------------------------------------------

- Renee: accounts manager, youth group leader, grandmother. Renee recently started a women’s Bible study on the Book of Genesis, and there was so much
difference of opinion and argument she nearly quit! She stuck with it, made some modifications, and the group not only survived, but it is growing!

- Carolyn: mother of five, homeschooler, pharmacist, military spouse

- Judith Lawrenson: Pink Panel Moderator, freelance writer, volunteer, and educator

- Riley: middle school student, active in sports, studious. Riley won First Place Overall in the
Science Fair at her school last month!

- Elizabeth: publisher of Pink Magazine, business owner, mom, writer, observer of life and human behavior

Would you like advice from The Pink Panel? Email Judith your question at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..