“Old friends, new friends, and friends who are no longer with us bring back so many memories. Looking back is good, but looking forward is better!”
– The Uphill Skater –

Frequently asked questions in the beginning of new friendships used to be something like where did you two meet, or did someone introduce you, or notions to that effect. The answers were things like introductions by mutual friends, meeting at church, meeting at work, or the ever popular “We met in a bar!” That is my favorite, of course, because that is where I met my husband, and back in the day, that was probably a very common answer. Meeting new friends and finding and building relationships were almost always pretty much face-to-face. Of course, nowadays most anyone under the age of 40 will tell a different story. 

Thanksgiving Day is the annual national holiday in the United States celebrating the harvest and blessings of the past year. Americans generally believe Thanksgiving is modeled on a 1621 harvest feast shared by the English colonists (Pilgrims) of Plymouth and the Wampanoag Native Americans.

In honor of being thankful, family and food the “Reel Corner” found some new gems you might enjoy and decided to remind you of a couple old classics, too..

DELICIOUS
Grégory Gadebois, Isabelle Carré | Director: Éric Besnard

Set in the 1700s, with the help of a young woman, a chef who has been sacked by his master, finds the strength to free himself from his position as a servant and open the first restaurant in France.

Maintaining good health for your bones is recommended at every age. Moderate exercise and vitamin-rich nutrition can help keep your skeleton in tip-top condition. However, aging bones can weaken and, in severe cases, become brittle. Bone health is usually not thought about until there’s a problem. That’s why it’s time to put your bones on your prevention radar to help reduce your risk of breaking a bone, maintaining good posture and reducing aches and pains. We asked our doctors to get us started on taking care of our bones and share his knowledge about bone health with us. Read on to learn more.

The mother of a 5-year-old girl tells her to dress for school. The child replies, insolence abounding, “No! I don’t want to, and I’m not going to!” Mom tells her that if she doesn’t dress, she will go to school in her pajamas. The child dresses. And that’s the end of it. Or is it?

“Did I do the right thing?” Mom asks.

“Was her defiance on that occasion a one-off?”

“Oh, no,” Mom replies. “She defies me about most things.”

“Then you achieved getting her to put on her clothes,” I answer, “but you made no dent in the real problem.”

DEAR SUSAN:
You're always writing about “undependence” —the word you coined that means wholeness, I guess. Well, I've proved that I can do it all—be a good parent, have a life, work, manage it all. But now what? I'm so darned lonely. —From the "Single File" blog

“Old friends, new friends, and friends who are no longer
with us bring back so many memories.
Looking back is good, but looking forward is better!”
– The Uphill Skater –

Frequently asked questions in the beginning of new friendships used to be something like where did you two meet, or did someone introduce you, or notions to that effect. The answers were things like introductions by mutual friends, meeting at church, meeting at work, or the ever popular “We met in a bar!” That is my favorite, of course, because that is where I met my husband, and back in the day, that was probably a very common answer. Meeting new friends and finding and building relationships were almost always pretty much face-to-face. Of course, nowadays most anyone under the age of 40 will tell a different story. 

Who are your favorite mystery types—Agatha Christie, Alfred Hitchcock, Sherlock Holmes, or Philip Marlowe?

Mystery films date back to the silent film era and are usually a genre that revolves around the solution to a problem or crime. They focus on the efforts of a detective or amateur sleuth to solve the mysterious circumstances by means of clues, investigation and clever deduction. As such, viewers’ interest stays on high alert, looking for clues as feverishly as the famous sleuths.

The plot often centers on the deductive ability, prowess, confidence, or diligence of the detective as he attempts to unravel the mystery by piecing together even the smallest of clues and circumstances, seeking evidence, interrogating witnesses and tracking down whodunnit.

Hormones are essential to our overall health, but it can be difficult to keep them in balance. Too much of one hormone, or too little of another, can have a major impact on our well-being. As advocates for women, we decided to ask local experts for the best ways to handle these hormonal fluctuations to reach our optimum health goals!

Q: The school our 10-year-old daughter attends believes parents should micromanage homework sessions – they call it “being a homework buddy.” As a consequence, our daughter believes we should help her with her assignments. Mind you, we’re willing to help when help is truly needed, but we don’t want to be our daughter’s “buddies” under any circumstances. What are your thoughts on this?

A: When are teachers, administrators, and college professors going to realize that enabling by any other name is still enabling? Homework buddies? Give me a break! Back in the dark ages of my youth, when children did their homework independently, they did their homework, and student achievement was considerably higher than it has been since.

DEAR SUSAN:
You’re always going on about head games between men and women, yet I’ve read where you are a strong believer in a woman’s mystery. Please explain. —From the “Single File’’ Blog

DEAR BLOGGER:
The mystery I favor is poles apart from the senseless and childish phoniness so common in the dating game. It takes a clever woman (yes, mystery is usually associated with the female of the species.) It has to do with not telling your life story from day one too early in a promising relationship. Be charming, soft, feminine. Leave plenty of silent spaces in the conversation for him to tell his story. Don’t laugh too often, but do smile when appropriate.

“Okay, we have six Healthy Habits, so here is MY #7.”
– The Uphill Skater –

I do have another Healthy Habit, and it is one that I really feel should be on the list. I will call it “keep up” for lack of a better way to describe it. Sometimes I, you, we, take each day as it comes and get sort of ho-hum about things as we skate along. I think it’s a good thing to do this once in a while for a mental breather, but honestly, in general, aren’t we better than that? As you read this month’s Skating Uphill, think about it and how you want to be. I know that saying one should always be their best selves gets old, boring and nagging, but do please just give it some thought. 

Bad new abounds as we are bombarded daily with news about climate change, random violence, Ukraine conflict and secret documents. We are dealing with inflation, shrinkflation, high gas prices, ridiculous housing prices, flight cancellations and more doomsday films than should be allowed—much of which is out of our control. What can help?

How about a couple of hours of comedy? Comedy is personal; some prefer RomComs and others prefer improvisational comedy or slap stick. Whatever the preference, frequent doses of comedy can be healing. In fact, it’s an often-overlooked tool in our arsenal to maintain good health. During times when we are barraged with economic, social, political and health problems, it’s wise to turn to a not-so-obvious way to protect ourselves—laughing.

I knew Jana O’Bryan was going to be special when three different colleagues and her boss wrote to nominate her for our monthly day of pampering—the Pink Makeover. They said things like “To meet Jana is to have an instant connection. She’s kind, listens with intention and genuinely engages you. I cannot get enough of her!” and “Jana is so very deserving of a special day dedicated just for her. She always puts others first; it’s time she was recognized for the compassionate, dedicated woman of integrity that she is.”

They were spot on, as Jana was a pleasure to spend an afternoon with and watch her transform. When Jana walked into The Hair Designers Salon at Village at Wexford with her daughter, Ashtin, in tow, we were all excited to get started. Mark Goodman, salon owner, has more credentials than this article has space. He is a master at color, cut and making people look—and feel—their absolute best.

Q: Our 14-year-old daughter is a rising high school sophomore. We let her wear eyeliner this past year, but she is wearing entirely too much. She is well-adjusted (plays sports, good grades) but seems insecure to go out in public without her make-up. When we tell her she looks prettier without it, she becomes defensive. Should we lighten up or insist that she stop trying to look like Miley Cyrus?

A: Your daughter is at an age where peer approval is more important than just about anything else (certainly approval from you) and wearing makeup is a ticket to that approval. That’s unfortunate, but in childrearing as in every other area of life, it is sometimes necessary to make compromises. Parents should always keep in mind that one can win a battle and still lose the war.

Sexual expression is part of mental and physical well-being. On that we probably agree. And being unmarried, you know how difficult it is to find a caring and committed partner. It’s well worth waiting for, because when soul mates join spirit and flesh, their union can approach spiritual communion. Once that’s experienced, anything less is out of the question. But to aspire to that height, you must first make sense of the sexual choice overload too readily offered in single life.

“They say that the most curious learners
make the very best teachers!”
– The Uphill Skater –

Back in the day, when I first graduated from college, my dream was to become a high school history teacher. With no money to finish the credential I needed, I decided to slum it and take a job for one year as a kindergarten teacher to save up. Needless to say, I fell in love with teaching kindergarten and did it for the next eight years until I got married and moved into a different life. There is a book called All I Really Need to Know I learned in Kindergarten, and let me tell you, it is absolutely true.

Whether you think of Elvis Presley as the young, energetic singer with the dynamic good looks and gyrating hips that shook the music world in the 1950s, or the more mature Elvis with the long sideburns and sequined jumpsuits who performed regularly in Las Vegas, his career spanned decades. Music fans around the world were devastated by news of his death on August 16, 1977.

And yet, 45 years later, the man with the voice and style remains the King of Rock and Roll. Millions around the world still buy his music and hundreds of thousands visit Graceland every year to see where he lived, died and is buried. How has he stayed so deeply ingrained in our hearts, minds and culture, so many years after his passing?

There are several organs that our human bodies can live without, but we’re especially curious about three of them.
These mystery organs are a puzzlement to most of us. About the only time one hears about the gallbladder, spleen or appendix is
when someone is having it removed. What is the point of these seemingly unnecessary organs? How can they just be removed?
We asked the experts to clue us in and not spare any details.

Q: I’m a single mother with a 13-year-old son. His father, whom he sees infrequently, has PTSD from battle experiences. My son has anger toward his father, but I can’t get him to talk about it. It comes out of him in the form of a lot of disrespect directed toward me. What should I do about this?

A: I assume that by “this” you mean your son’s supposed anger concerning his father. If I’m right, then you’re focusing on the wrong issue. The problem is the disrespect and hostility your son directs toward you.

In the first place, you’re playing amateur psychologist. You’re engaging in pure speculation (which is, by the way, all a psychologist is doing when he claims to know what causes a person to behave in a certain manner). Your theory concerning his disrespect gives your son a free pass to behave as abusively toward you as he pleases. On the other hand, if you happen to be right about the source of your son’s “anger,” the question becomes “so what?”

The word “Community” came together this month in the small business known as Sweetgrass Salon. It was a very special makeover that underscores friendships, mutual respect and hearts of love.

Our makeover candidate is Megan DeWeese. Megan is a 2nd grade teacher at Okatie Elementary school. That title, however, doesn’t do her justice. In the 2020-21 school year, Megan was a Teacher of the Year, both in her school and the district. Her history, however, includes surviving loss and grief. She’s experienced the crushing bereavement of a still born child and, more recently, the loss of her mother to cancer. Megan formerly spent six years in the army reserves. She’s gone back to school many times over the years and has scored several degrees.

Of all the aftershocks of love’s endings, bitterness does the most damage because it’s sneaky. While it clouds perception, it silently fulfills its own prophecy, which is that people will stay away. Potential friends and lovers keep their distance from an embittered person, which only serves to confirm his/her sour view of life, completing the circle of cynicism. (Deep sigh.)

But when people are content with life and with themselves, they, for the most part, view life’s downturns fairly, placing blame where deserved while (ahem) shouldering the rightful share of responsibility for mistakes, which are almost inevitable in a full life. So what’ll it be, bitter or optimistic? Take your choice. I kid you not, my friend; it is indeed a conscious choice. There are ways to remain hopeful, even when life tosses you a world-class curve.

“The definition of good food never changes, right?
Actually, that is not right!”
– The Uphill Skater –

Every once in a while, I love to write a column that is a truly honest food update. While many may think an egg is an egg, an apple is red, and free-range means chickens can run all over the place, my positive and correct answer is yes and no.

I am hedging a bit, but really, the truth when it comes to food is ambiguous. Vitamin content and calorie count can vary in an egg quite a lot. Everyone knows not all apples are red, but have you considered if they are pesticide-free? And, unfortunately, many free range chickens have never seen a range in their whole short lives. 

America can only claim a few art forms as its own. Jazz, for sure. Comic Books, certainly. And, it’s probably safe to add the Western to that list, too.

Westerns are a vital genre, with a habit of reinventing itself every few years, that doubles as a way to talk about American history. While there are certain themes and elements that define the genre, the Western is also proven to be flexible, capable of playing host to many different story lines and a vast variety of characters.

You may not be able to point to your thyroid, but it controls many activities in your body, including how fast you burn calories and how fast your heart beats—pretty important things. However, the thyroid seems to be a mystery gland that is not thought about until it begins to wreak havoc. Basically, when your thyroid is functioning properly, things we take for granted, like a good night’s sleep, regular bowel movements, controlled inner temps—not inappropriately hot or cold, are also functioning properly. Because an out-of-order thyroid can cause symptoms that are quite common, usually the thyroid is the last thing we point to as the culprit for our dis-ease and discomfort. That’s why we wanted to unlock the mystery behind this little gland in your neck that can make feeling good a real pain-in-the-neck! In order to learn more about the almighty thyroid, we asked our local experts to clue us in.

Q: Our sons are six and four. When their same-age cousins come over, they all go down into our basement to play. Invariably, within thirty minutes my youngest comes upstairs crying because his older brother is causing the cousins to gang up against him. I end up going down into the basement every half hour to settle these disputes. Is there a way to solve the problem once and for all?

A: You’ve discovered, the hard way, that “settling” one of these conflicts does not solve the problem. In fact, settling 1,358,495 of these disputes will not solve the problem. In further fact, you serving as a mediator is making matters worse. Unwittingly, by coming to your youngest son’s rescue, you cause the other boys to resent him and want to get back at him. When they do, he cries, you come running, you rescue, and again they resent him, and around and around it goes.