Hissy Fit - November 2024 - You’re Invited! Have You RSVP’d?

October 2024 Issue
by Elizabeth Skenes Millen

It’s officially the holidays, and invitations
are dropping faster than beach umbrella sales.
It’s time to pull out your sparkling holiday wear and gear up
for parties, drop-ins, dinners, and business socials.

I love invitations; often, they are creative, beautiful, festive… and useful, as they give the invitee an idea of the mood, caliber, dress, and atmosphere of the upcoming gathering. However, receiving an invitation comes with great responsibility, and how you respond to this responsibility separates you from the serfs.

Responsibility starts at the bottom because usually, at the bottom of an invitation are four letters—R, S, V, and P. When strung together, RSVP is a request for a response from the invited person or people. In other words, the hosts would like to know if you plan on attending their event. RSVP is an acronym derived from the French phrase répondez s'il vous plaît, meaning "please respond."

And respond you must!

Even though it may seem American standards are going to hell in a handbasket, rudeness is still inexcusable in every instance. According to Emilypost.com, “It is inconsiderate, but unfortunately common, for guests to fail to RSVP. Some forget; others procrastinate and then feel guilty, so they delay even longer. For many hosts on the non-receiving end of an RSVP, it seems as if an invitee is simply waiting for something better to possibly come along, or they simply don’t find the upcoming soiree worthy of acknowledgement. Unfortunately, a modern-day side-effect derived from the demise of the RSVP is that relationships often suffer due to party-hosts having hurt feelings and frustrations. Anyone who receives an invitation has an important obligation to reply as soon as possible.”

Here’s the deal: The person(s) preparing, planning and paying for the party needs some basic information in order to effectively prepare, plan and pay. The most fundamental information is how many people are coming. Who would want to buy filet minion at $30 per pound for no-shows? Who wants to buy wine for 100 people, only to have 43 actually show? And who wants to set a festive holiday table for ten (which means getting the table leaf out), when a mere six will attend? What actually is the hostess to do with the four awkward, embarrassing, empty place-settings staring everyone down at the table as dinner is served?

I’m going to veer from the Emily Post way of putting things and just flat out say it pisses me off when people don’t respond. Even worse, is they tell you they’re coming and then don’t.

Here’s another thing that send me over the edge. Picture this scenario (which we all have experienced): 18 people will be arriving at your home for a fabulous evening in approximately 37 minutes. You haven’t showered yet, and you’re frantically scurrying about the kitchen to get the last dish in the oven. You’ve already “Swiffered” and the dog—the one that sheds worse than a horse on the first day of spring—comes running through the kitchen with one of the children right behind her, swearing she’s trying to get the dog into the kennel. As you look over to see dirty dishes filling the sink, the telephone rings. You answer. It’s your friend Suzy Q. She’s calling to say she and Bobby Q can’t make the party.

Really Suzy Q? You’ve had the invitation for three weeks. Count it…that’s 21 days, and no one has heard from you. Now, with 37 minutes to spare, you’re going to call me, when you know good and well I’m in a frantic pre-party mess, and let me know you’re not coming? What is your problem? Have you, Miss Q, never hosted a party? Have you, Miss Q, never had to answer an inconsiderate, asinine phone call such as yours only minutes before your event? Where is your head, Miss Q? Moreover, where are your manners you rude, thoughtless…b… b… b… friend?

I’m fired up just thinking about it all. However, I realize every time I point the finger, there are three fingers pointing right back at me. Unfortunately, I too am guilty of occasionally ignoring the RSVP. But, in writing this article, and remembering how I felt when on the burnt side of this lack of communication fence and decorum, I just recommitted to holding the responsibility of the RSVP in the highest esteem. I hope you will, too.

What? Are you responding? I can’t hear you. Happy party days! Please do your part and be sure to RSVP ASAP!