Publisher - September 2024
Photography by
Cassidy Dunn Photography
“There is more to life than increasing its speed.”
— Mahatma Gandhi —
Do you ever feel like life’s passing you by? Like you’re not even really living? Like days come and go, and you’re not sure where the time went? Have you wondered how we are already in September with stores filled with witches, jack-o-lanterns, and other spooky cauldrons filled with the feelings of fall? Just think; in a few short weeks Christmas trees will light up the stores and the radio will switch to all Christmas Carols—hello Mariah Carey!
None of this brings me joy. It’s all too fast. I find myself living in a “what’s next” world, similar to a football hurry-up offense, where there is no huddle, just a get-it-done-now play with no delays. In real life, a “delay” can equate to rest, and rest is actually a necessity.
In my “what’s next” life, even when I fill my day with chores and perhaps some fun, too, if I’m done by 3:00 or 4:00 in the afternoon, the question becomes now what. Though it’s difficult to admit, sometimes I just want to veg out. Maybe there are people out there who are couch potatoes, but I don’t know them. My tribe is full-throttle. We’ve been known to mow and blow the yard, drive to the lake, put the boat in the water and ride, go to dinner and catch a movie all in the same day.
Since starting this magazine 20 years ago, my life has been filled with work, too much work—what seems like never-ending work. Because of this, my weekends are spent doing chores and everything fun as fast as I can, to the point where it’s not really that fun. In fact, life is so fast, I rarely have fun anymore, mainly because I’d probably rather be mindless or sleeping. Quite frankly, I’m tired. I rarely even plan dinner parties anymore because I get all excited about it when I send out the invitations, and by the time the date rolls around, I regret the obligation, thinking I should have known I didn’t have time for this. It just becomes more work to make happen and get done. Check the box, go to sleep.
My sweet significant other claims I “overbook myself”. I really don’t, but if I don’t plan some things, life will surely pass us by. (Don’t tell him I said this, but he’s the king of: “What’s next?”) I understand this mentality. No one wants to feel like they wasted a day. With massive over-stimulation everywhere, American society conditions us to go, go, go.
British author John Lubbock said, “Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a beautiful day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.” Of course he said this in the 1800s when there were no automobiles to jump in and run to the store, or cell phones ringing, dinging, and pinging 100 times a day. If I had to saddle up a horse every time I wanted to go somewhere, I would definitely stay home more often.
When I was growing up, we stayed home on the weekends, especially during the school year when we didn’t go to the lake house. We were a social family, definitely not homebodies. However, my parents didn’t run out here, there, and everywhere. Instant gratification wasn’t a way of life back then. We had somewhat of a routine. Mom would look at grocery ads on Saturday morning, while I watched cartoons. Dad read the newspaper and drank coffee. At noon, when the cartoons went off, I’d have to clean my room, maybe strip my bed, and then Mom and I would go grocery shopping. We may do some yard work, or work on a craft. I might work on a school project or homework. Dad would watch football or the race. It was all pretty calm and simple. Sometimes we would even shell butterbeans, pick pecans or bake a cake. I also helped my mother balance the checkbook to the penny every month. We would sit at the kitchen table, and I would call the list of checks and deposits out to her. I don’t remember feeling bored, mainly because if I said I was bored, Mom would tell me to clean out my closet or drawers. And life didn’t seem to fly by, and I didn’t feel devoid of joy. Maybe that’s the difference between childhood and adulting. Does life speed up the older we get, or the older we get do we merely spend our time mostly doing things we don’t enjoy?
We ran a quote in the magazine once that stated: “You were not born to simply pay bills and die.” Even though sometimes this is what life feels like, daily living can be an adventure. It just takes waking up and stepping into your life. Here are a few hints:
Be in the moment:
Becoming conscious of your surroundings will enhance your experience. For instance, grocery shopping may be a chore, but if you take in the wonderful smells, shop for a new recipe, buy a colorful bouquet of flowers (or at least look at them), your senses become stimulated and excited, alive and aware. Turn off your auto-pilot. Don’t walk around the store on your cell phone, instead, smell that fresh bread baking and buy a loaf.
Find joy on purpose:
From time to time, I have to remind myself what makes me happy, what makes me laugh, and what makes me feel alive because I can get bogged down in the quagmire of life and totally forget. Make a joy list and keep it on the fridge. Look at it and purposefully do something on the list every day.
Cherish your loved ones:
Life best moments are not brought to us by stuff, but by people—the ones we love, friends and family. Be sure to give them your fully devoted time. Don’t scroll through your phone while talking to them on the telephone. Plan to be together and just sit around the table and talk. Make up fun traditions that don’t hover around the holidays. Be a giver, not a taker. Be such a light, your friends and family will flock to you like moths at the front porch light. And give your dog or cat some extra belly rubs—there’s a lot of joy in that.
Are you ready to wake up to your best life? Let’s make a pact to transform everyday moments into joyous memories. It’s completely up to us to design our days discovering our most content and happy selves. Time flies whether you feel alive or not. Like Mae West quipped, “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough!”
Think Pink,
Elizabeth Millen