My mother and I (she’s 88),
were talking on the telephone the other day.
It wasn’t 4-and-a-half minutes until we got each other all riled up.
She was talking about the ways of the world and what a mess we’re all in.
She watches daytime TV, therefore, she knows.
We started talking, and somehow, we managed to take down
politicians, greedy people, “The Bachelor” and Kanye West.
To say the least, as soon as I hung up, I was ready to write this column.

Nothing good ever comes easy. That is the case with this magazine. It is not only a labor of love, it is also a labor of passion, work ethic, determination, excellence, desire, patience, humor and pure heart. Not just mine, but also my family’s and staff’s. The publishing industry is hard and not for the faint of heart. People either love it or hate it. It’s like the speeding bus Sandra Bullock has to drive in the 1994 movie Speed. Basically, Bullock has to keep the bus moving at a minimum speed of 60 mph, or it will blow up and everyone will die. Welcome to the world of publishing.

I don’t like it a bit. That little comment—usually women—make. “I read your little magazine.” “How’s your little project coming along?” “Is your little problem working itself out?” “I just love your little house!” “I enjoyed your little retreat.” “Congratulations on your engagement and your little ring is so cute.”

I can’t be the only one who hears the venom coming out of these pseudo compliments. Or, maybe that’s just the way some people talk, and it is not meant to belittle, but it does—literally. It’s that one little word in thrown in to weaken and downplay. The word: Little.

Fact: The word little is negative. No matter how thoughtful or sincere of a person you may be, by using the word little in your compliments and comments, you are negating your genuineness and diminishing the compliment.  According to Merriam-Webster, little is defined as: “Small in condition, distinction, or scope; narrow; not much; small in importance or interest; trivial.”

What is it about change that makes it so scary? Is it the unknown? Is it that it’s better the way it is? Or maybe, it’s easier the way it is. Perhaps knowing what you have is better than fearing what you don’t, even if what you have isn’t that great. Regardless, there are two facts about change: 1. It is inevitable. 2. Most people don’t like it.

One of the most visual examples of change in the Lowcountry is the beach. The daily changes are remarkable. One day the beach will be spotted with hundreds of washed-up jellyfish and the very next day, there’s not a jellyfish to be found. What made all the jellyfish arrive one day and not the next? How can there be such profound change from day-to-day or hour-to-hour?

It’s February, and I’m still feeling guilty for not taking some cookies or a pie to my neighbors over the holidays. However, I should also feel guilty about not even knowing some of my neighbors. In my defense, I’ve only lived here 17 years. Lame, right? But being social goes both ways. I didn’t receive any cookies or a pie from them either.

That’s not the point.

This kind of thinking helps no one, and two wrongs don’t make a right. I take full responsibility. After all, I am healthy enough to walk over to say hi, and I’m not shy. There is no excuse for me not to know my immediate neighbors’ names and recognize them in the grocery store. What’s even worse, I know many of their dog’s names—Cinnamon, Buddy, Bell, Lola, Cowboy.