Your mind attaches to the negative.

Who cares? So what? Why is that even helpful?

See? You’re doing it already. You’re thinking negative thoughts about thinking itself instead of relaxing into the fact that your brain is hard-wired to be fearful and anxious. The trick is to consciously shift to the positive, taking full advantage of your brain’s neuroplasticity.

This “negativity bias” isn’t your fault as much as it’s your autonomic nervous system kicking into survival mode, managing your body and your mind through the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. (Just seeing the words “sympathetic and parasympathetic” may make you want to cut and run. Resist. Relax. If you hang in there and learn a few things, it’ll be easier for you to start rewiring your brain for a much calmer and healthier future. Really. It’s possible.)

So much of the beauty of the Lowcountry goes beyond the surrounding ocean. The palm trees, live oaks with hanging Spanish moss, sweeping marshes and an array of beautiful, colorful flowers all contribute to this unique locale.

As we approach the heat of July, I wonder how the plants and flowers endure and how they survive our deer population? Always appreciative of a beautiful garden, but admittedly ignorant of how they came to be, I decided to head to The Greenery, where I met with one of their horticulturists, Carol Guedalia.

After wandering through aisles of plants with Carol and learning about the many varieties that flourish here, I decided to narrow my focus on four specific plants. All of which can withstand our sweltering July heat, humidity and our friendly (and hungry) neighborhood deer.

“There are two paths you can go by, but in the long run, there’s still time to change the road you’re on.” These lyrics by Led Zeppelin’s Jimmy Page and Robert Plant hold true to the devoted lives of the two main characters in Susan Zurenda’s Southern family’s tale of secrets, Bells For Eli [A Novel].

I was immediately transported back in time to the significant cultural challenges of the ‘60s and ‘70s, and how many survived those times, and some did not. And I could feel the heat as Susan described a small-town South Carolina summer with no air-conditioning and dusty front porches. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead as I read page after page, as Delia brought her story alive, just for me.

 Since I have been in the fashion business for over 40 years, I have finally decided to close the closet door with my last column of “In Fashion.” However, before I go, I thought I would share a few of my “aha moments” gleaned from decades of writing about fashion.

My basic mantra is: If you look good, you’ll feel good. Unless you live in a nudist colony, you get dressed every day. And although I learned long ago not to judge a person by the clothes he or she wears, if you love what you’re wearing, then you’ll have more self-confidence and radiate positive “vibrations,” as we used to say in the ‘70s. And don’t we all need more good vibrations in the world we are living in today?

Little things mean a lot. Even one single summer day of play­­—with family and friends, no cellphones allowed­­—has value. Think of it as clicking the Refresh button on your computer, except you’re the one who gets to kick back, refocus, feel gratitude and begin again.

WHY BOTHER? Playing outdoors awakens our weary bodies, renews our energy and floods our brains with pleasure chemicals that are legal and self-made. If you’ve never had your consciousness altered by an encounter with a deep forest, a quiet river, a spider’s web, you’ve missed out. But don’t worry. The path to a healthier, happier lifestyle is open 24/7, if only you know the way.

One way begins with Carpe Diem. Seize the day, any summer day—weekends are usually best—and plan a Friends & Family Fitness & Fun Day. (But think of a better name.)

It would be so easy to crumble under the strain that Tara Heaton has been through. Human hearts crack or grow embittered, and a broken spirit does not mend at the hospital. But to live joyfully despite all these outside circumstances, to turn pain into power and purpose—that is a feat we all have the potential to achieve.

“It sounds fluffy, but every day I try to choose joy,” says Tara, founder of En Pointe Communication in Atlanta. “I’ve cried like you wouldn’t believe and had days where all I wanted to do was throw glass at bricks. But I believe that each one of us is extraordinary, not in spite of our challenges, but because of them.”

Tara’s remarkable journey began in 2005, when life seemed to be cruising along. She was happily married with three beautiful, healthy children and her business was taking off. Then one day her 12-year-old daughter, Caroline, missed school with what seemed to be a little virus accompanied by a rash. Tara had stayed home to care for her, when suddenly a mother’s intuition compelled her to go check on her daughter—next thing she knew she was not walking but running up the stairs. She found Caroline unresponsive, and a moment later Tara was witnessing a full-blown epileptic seizure for the first time in her life. Sadly, she was to see thousands more over the coming years.

You’ve checked out the straw handbags, the floral midiskirts, the cropped culottes and the flatform shoes—just a few of the latest fashion trends that you can’t wait to wear. But where do you start? And how do you pull it all together? Here are some tips for styling your wardrobe the sunny days ahead.

Start with a trendy pattern. Polka dots are running circles around the fashion crowd. Buy a polka-dot bow blouse, a polka-dot dress or a polka-dot blazer. Dress them up or down with what you already have in your closet. Instant update!

It can happen in the best of homes. You think you've done everything right as a parent—good schools, restricted screen time, all-cotton underwear—and then one day at dinner, your world explodes.

Your kid goes veggie. She stops eating meat. "I've decided on a plant-based diet," little Lindsey explains, turning her nose, knife and fork up at the beautiful burger on her plate. "How can you eat somebody's mother?"

Some version of this drama plays out every day in homes across America as more young people become aware of the face on the plate and how it relates to the planet they live on.
I hope we can blame schools, but however it happens, kids eating green is trending up, and meatloaf-loving parents need help, strategies, patience and sometimes pharmaceuticals.

Over the past two months, our world has shifted; we are adapting to a new way of life,
which can be difficult for many. During this pandemic, however, there are numerous women
in this bold, beautiful community of ours who have stepped forward to selflessly and
creatively serve others. They are women who give with their whole hearts,
expecting nothing in return, and are among the many who have
made the difference we all need right now.

Here’s to everyone out there who has helped in their own way.
Here are just a few of the many, many women who have been Lowcountry Crowns of Corona:

The Lowcountry of South Carolina is known to be common stomping grounds for vacationers. With the incredibly beautiful beaches, amazing restaurants and scenic nature views that never fail to awe, it’s no wonder people flock to get their needed dosage of the Lowcountry. The usual itinerary includes a short list of activities: Beach, Harbour Town, ice cream and a tourist trap restaurant or two. Sometimes vacations, or just daily, local life can lack spice, or adventure as we would like to put it. Here is your locals guide to put that extra pep in your step while on vacation or just plain living the dream.Take a step back into history   When people think of the Lowcountry they think, vacation, beaches, but never stop to realize that there is history here just as much as other historically relevant areas of South Carolina. Throughout Beaufort county, there are historic monuments, ruins and museums that bring the roots of the Lowcountry to life. A few to be mentioned are:

“Two years ago I found myself safely tucked into a nine-to-five, with a house and a yard as I started sharing my life with my beautiful new bride...all was not well. We settled down to accumulate more things we did not need, while promising to see the world someday—the norm in our culture. We decided to free ourselves and take life into our own hands…to become borderless.”

This is just the beginning of Adam Clayton’s story as he found his destiny (in more ways than one). Originally from Hillsborough, NC, Adam honed his skills as a photographer and videographer after attending college. Meanwhile, his wife-to-be, Destiny Bengston of Jacksonville, NC, studied environmental studies and brushed up on her business skills. Little did either know that these skills would help launch them into a brand-new adventure.

Gardening is what well-being feels like, in spades. It's not aerobic, and it won't boost your fitness the way running, swimming and biking will, but it produces lots of pleasure, not to mention zucchinis, basil and the sweetest baby tomatoes you'll ever taste.

"I cannot say exactly how nature exerts its calming and organizing effects on our brains," writes neurologist Oliver Sacks, "but I have seen in my patients the restorative and healing powers of nature and gardens."

Couldn't we all use a little healing these days? Gardening helps you cultivate a peaceful and focused mind while putting all the major muscles of your body to work digging, lifting and carrying. 

What you need to know today is that even when things seem completely hopeless, there’s always a way out. That’s not to say that you should slip into denial when bad things happen. But good things also happen.

By learning how to control our thoughts and stepping back to see the bigger picture, we can climb out of that pit and into the sunshine of a new day. It’s all about learning how to get our perspective back on track.

Every family has at least one tradition—whether it is where the holiday meal takes place, who says the blessing, or the after dinner festivities. Commonly, traditions seem to be about what we should do, or what has been done for years. Customarily, we follow along with traditions, often forgetting the reason why. The core of a tradition often offers insight to the true meaning that it holds. It is not just about the custom, but about the meaning behind the custom and how it has come to future generations.

I am lucky enough to have been given a tradition to carry on. It holds a very special place in my heart and I would like to share it in hopes that others may grasp it and begin a new one of their own.

Be the girl with the pearls. If there’s one fashion favorite that most of us buy new every year, it’s denim. This year, designers go way beyond the basics, reinventing denim in not-so-basic ways to give this tried-and-true wardrobe staple a new lease on the stylish life. Take a look at the new blues on the denim horizon for the season:

The straight and narrow: Skinny jean lovers are in luck. This year, the body-hugging jeans are back in force. For some of us, they never went out of style, but with knee-high boots stepping out in a major way this year—even in the heat—the skinny jean tucked in and worn with a longer top is the silhouette of the season. The major update? A higher waist. Yes, it’s the key fashion trend no matter what style jean you’re wearing. See below!

Close your eyes and picture Hilton Head Island.
Now, try picturing it without bicycles.

Can’t do it? It’s no wonder. Bicycling the Island has become as much a part of Hilton Head as its world famous beaches and golf. In fact, Trip Advisor has ranked ‘Riding Hilton Head’s Bike Trails’ as the No. 1 attraction on the Island six years running, and Island Packet’s David Lauderdale recently named bicycling as one of the top 5 things that changed the way we live in Beaufort County.

Quite a leap from Charles Frasier’s modest goal of giving residents and guests greater access to Sea Pines by building the Island’s first leisure trails in 1970.

Have a fling with a little bling this spring!

Kick off the season by updating your jewelry box with a new piece or two.
Here are a few updates that will add a warm up to anything you wear.

Be the girl with the pearls. Pearls have long been a jewelry favorite, but this year, baroque styles get a modern update with mixed metals and lots of stones, giving them a whole new look. Get the look by layering semiprecious gemstone necklaces with your grandmother’s pearl strands or a pair of pearl-sprinkled gold or silver hoops. Featured: Monique double gold earrings with Mother of Pearl. Find them at Modern Jewelers, Downtown Beaufort.

“Where kids learn to play and play to learn” is more than just a phrase for those who built and continue to build The Sandbox—it’s the motto that fully encapsulates their daily mission. The Sandbox is the Lowcountry’s only children’s museum. With two locations—one on Hilton Head Island and another in Bluffton—this non-profit organization is the perfect destination for children ages 4 to 12 to experience exploratory, hands-on play with an emphasis on education.

As it’s said, necessity is the mother of invention. In the case of creating The Sandbox, it was a group of mothers! In 2003, a set of women were looking for a safe, educational space where they could bring their children together to play. In getting together and formulating a plan, they also created a focus group study that confirmed the need for it and the support of the community to build it. By December 2005, The Sandbox became a registered 501(c)3 and eagerly opened their doors to the community.

Taking her love of gardening to another small, but significant level, Elizabeth Millen, our publisher, recently experienced a fun afternoon learning all about miniature gardening from the ACE Garden’s “miniature and all things gardening” expert Freda Tawney. ACE Garden Center is located in St. Simon’s Island, where Pink’s sister magazine, Paisley, is located. Elizabeth created her own miniature garden, and it has brought her great joy.

Stoking whimsical creativeness, miniature gardening has gained great popularity. There is an abundance of mini-garden creatures, characters (think tiny yard art) adorable cast trees and shrubs, reflecting balls, castles, huts, fairies of all sizes, as well as all shapes and sizes of containers, vessels, bowls, drawers, hanging containers, light and heavy pots to choose from out there in the gardening world. Add potting soil, rocks, gravel, sand and moss in a variety of colors, shapes and sizes and it’s a garden—a very joyful garden each with a story to tell.

Do you like to shop? Taste wine? Support great causes? If you answered yes to any of these three questions, you’re in luck. The Hilton Head Wine and Food Festival is March 9-15, and promises to be a week chock-full of daily and nightly events for all lovers of wine and food. It’s a delicious seven days, celebrating the world’s top wineries on gorgeous Hilton Head Island!

Whether your idea of gardening is an elaborate design element in your landscape or simply caring for a single house plant, sunny spring days and blooming azaleas are an inspiration to connect with nature. Whether you have a green thumb, or you’re a novice, now is the time to get started.

The Lowcountry is filled with transplants from the North who move here because of the beauty and incredible weather. Unfortunately, gardening up North is very different from gardening here. For example, the forsythia, rhododendrons and lilacs that flourish in a cooler climate simply don’t do well here. It can be an expensive learning curve, so the best advice is to seek the advice of local experts.

Dear Readers: If I were to ask couples to name the top three things that keep them together, I don’t imagine that shared knowledge and interest in their finances would make the list. Yet money is often cited as one of the main causes of divorce. A recent survey by Policygenius found that 1 in 5 people say their partner is financially irresponsible. And these people are over 10 times more likely to break up over money issues than people who say their partner is good with money.

I always recommend that couples get to know each other financially at the beginning of their relationship, but that really is just the start. A relationship can be a lifelong journey, and your financial togetherness is an important part of it. There are bound to be gaps in each partner’s financial attitudes and know-how, so, to me, it’s essential for every couple to not only discuss their priorities but also increase their financial knowledge along the way. Because financial literacy is also a lifelong journey.

I’ve had the opportunity to talk to a few couples lately whose own experiences demonstrate how being financially aware and informed can bring people closer together. I thought you might be interested in their stories. (Of course, I’ve changed their names.)

When planning international travel there
is a recommended check list...

#1 Research: learning a little about where you are going is always to your advantage. Researching the country, their customs, culture and what is currently happening. Learning a few phrases in their language like “Hello”, “Thank you” and “Where is the bathroom” are helpful, as well.

#2 Be Prepared: Make sure your passport and driver’s license is valid for at least six months. Make copies of them on your phone, and hard copies to tuck in your luggage and leave a copy with someone at home.

Vacations make us happy, but when we get back home, the ho-hum takes over. One week, we're bicycling in France, free as a breeze, and the following Tuesday, we're back to carpool and a messy kitchen. Were we ever away? That feeling of fun is buried under loads of emails and a to-do list as long as a barbecue fork.

Do you wish you could prolong that happy state or bring it back whenever you want? You can, according to esteemed happiness expert Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of "The How of Happiness."
One way is to give yourself a visual cue. Frame that picture of you in a helmet, screaming hysterically on a river raft in the Grand Canyon. Put it on the fridge.

Now that spring is in the air, it’s the perfect time to let go of all the extra stuff in our closets so we can really enjoy getting dressed for those sunny vacation days ahead.

There are always clothes you need to get out of your closet, drawers and wherever else you stash them—even the laundry bin. So, spend a little time behind closed closet doors ... and start spring cleaning early. But what to toss? Here are a few suggestions to help you get started.

The no-brainers. These are the stained sweatshirts, the holey sweaters, the mismatched socks and the souvenir T-shirts from the summer of 1973. There are just some things you don’t need to hold onto forever. That shrunken crop top and low-slung jeans you looked so cute in five years ago before two kids came into your life have got to go. Donate them to the next generation of Britney Spearses.

Founded six months before women officially won the right to vote, in February 1920, by Suffragettes Carrie Chapman Catt and Jane Brooks, the League of Women Voters immediately jumped into action, and within a few short years, chapters all over the country were formed.  One of their initial programs addressed the issue of US-born women’s citizenship rights if they married a non-U.S. citizen.  At that time, the Expatriation Act forced married women to automatically become citizens of their husband’s country, and lose their U.S. status, even if they were Americans.  Shortly after the voting rights bill was enacted, this was overturned, so all American women would remain US citizens and be eligible to vote.

The organization has grown exponentially over the last century, despite a couple of decades when there were setbacks due to World War II, and later, a socio-cultural rift that sought to tear down much of what the League had already accomplished.  Nonetheless, this organization continued to prosper and grow to its current 700 chapters around the country and 500,000 active members in all 50 states. Counting among its member’s notables are Congresswoman Shirley Chisholm, First Ladies Eleanor Roosevelt, Betty Ford and Lady Bird Johnson, and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. The LWV continues to encourage women to run for office to achieve a more accurate representation of the nation’s gender demographic.

To celebrate the achievements and upcoming plans for what the local Hilton Head-Bluffton LWV Chapter considers most urgent facing voters in the Lowcountry is a list of important 2020 programs to make a difference:

Many people think estate planning is only for the wealthy or elderly, but the truth is everyone has an estate; and no matter how large or how modest, how old or how young, you can’t take it with you when you die. An estate plan helps ensure that your wishes for yourself, your family and your assets are carried out in the event of your illness or death.

Estate planning is the process of anticipating and arranging for the disposal of one’s assets. Modern estate planning also protects your estate in the event of incapacity.  Common estate planning tools include Wills and Trusts, Beneficiary Designations, Durable Powers of Attorneys and Health Care Powers of Attorney.

A Last Will and Testament is one of the most basic tools, and it’s one that many people are familiar with. A Will allows you to provide instructions for the distribution of your property at death, and names one or more persons to manage your estate until final distribution. If you are the parent of a minor child, a Will also provides the opportunity for you to name a guardian.

The current trends in the Lowcountry real estate market are remarkable, definitely a wave you want to ride if you have any thoughts of buying, selling, upsizing, or downsizing. As we look at 2020, according to the Annual Report on the Hilton Head Housing Market released by the Hilton Head Area Association of Realtors, “Continued low mortgage rates and a healthy economy is giving a great start to housing.” If you have driven around the Lowcountry, it is easy to see new construction—both commercial and single family homes—sprouting up everywhere. This growth is expected to help loosen up the inventory available for purchase. A healthy market will often tighten up the number of homes for sale, which also can lead to a shorter time span between listing and selling. In other words, you’re in luck if you’re buying or selling!

What is skilled nursing? Skilled nursing is a collection of services, including, but not limited to, nursing, physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy. These services are aimed to return a patient back to their prior level of functioning before an injury, or illness.

How do I qualify for a skilled nursing stay? If you are admitted into the hospital, or have had a recent stay in the hospital in the last 30 days, and you and your medical team agree that you need 24-hour nursing care and rehabilitation prior to returning home, then you may be a good candidate. Your hospital case manager, or the case manager at the facility you choose, can run your insurance and let you know if you qualify. To qualify for skilled nursing benefits from Medicare, the patient must have a 3-night stay at a hospital before being covered. If the patient has a managed care insurance, a pre-authorization is required.