Single File - May 2023

Susan Deitz

Back in the Dating World & Do You Respect Your Man

Single File - May 2023

Dear Susan:
A 42-year-old professional woman, I'm new to the single world—and scared to death. I have been away from this type of thing for 15 years and, with an 18-year-old daughter, don't want to end up in a place where her friends hang out. I've been reading "Single File" and the letters that come to you out of neediness. Is it really that bad out there? —From the "Single File" blog

Dear Reader:
The single world—like the married world—is made up of people of all shapes, sizes and colors and is home to every conceivable type of personality, morality and ethical code. You will discover, as you live your life as an unmarried woman, that the type of person you befriended as a wife and mother is pretty much the kind of person you attract (and are attracted to) as an unmarried woman. Your core values won't alter one whit.

Skating Uphill - May 2023

Judith Lawrenson

Living a Healthy Lifestyle

Skating Uphill - May 2023

“Eat This, Not That Again!””
– The Uphill Skater –

 
The weather is here and it’s time to eat outdoors, grill, picnic, snack at the beach, host backyard barbecues, or dine on a restaurant patio; whichever you choose, just get outside! Some people say that winter is the time for warm comfort foods and heavy gravy, but we know this is not really true, don’t we Lowcountry foodies?

Warm weather brings out some big appetites—places to go, things to do, and food to eat. In order to put a bit of control in place, I am going to do another helpful guide of “Eat This, Not That.” Lots of new information has been put out, and we need time to “digest” the many new findings.

Reel Corner - May 2023

Donne Paine

Air—A Story of Greatness

Reel Corner - May 2023

Air is a story about a shoe, granted not just any shoe, but seriously,
a whole two hours about a shoe? The Reel Corner was intrigued and recently
sat down in the comfy recliner seats at Park Plaza Cinema on Hilton Head
and found Air to be much more than about a shoe.

“A shoe is just a shoe until someone steps in it.” —Sonny Vaccaro

AIR
Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Jason Bateman, Viola Davis, Chris Messina
Directed by Ben Affleck

Air is a revolutionary tale that changed marketing culture forever. This true tale follows Sonny Vaccaro (Damon), a Nike executive and athletic recruiter hustling to make the deal of a lifetime.

We all know Michael Jordan became a superstar and arguably the greatest basketball player in the history of the game, and the Air Jordan basketball shoe became a slam dunk—the best known and most coveted sneaker of all time. So how does a filmmaker tell a compelling story to which we already know the outcome?

Pink Prescriptions - May 2023

It's All Pink

Female Problems Four Issues to Talk to Your Gynecologist About

Pink Prescriptions - May 2023

As if dealing with a monthly period isn’t bad enough, there are conditions some women experience that make matters worse. Almost everyone dreads
“that time of the month” but having a regular menstrual cycle is a good sign.

There are many things that can go wrong whether you’re trying to
get pregnant or not. This month our local medical experts chime in
on four of the most common reasons women experience
menstrual irregularity, severe cramps and pain, and infertility.

Parenting April 2023: Children Accept Leadership, They Abuse Control

John Rosemond

Living With Children by John Rosemond

Parenting April 2023: Children Accept Leadership, They Abuse Control

My wife and I were enjoying an evening out in one of our favorite restaurants when a family of three—mother, father, girl of perhaps four—were shown to a table next to ours. Immediately, the parents began asking the little one where she wanted to sit. They both stood while she went about trying each chair until she finally settled on one. Well, not really, because as soon as everyone sat, she wanted to move, so she and her father exchanged seats. This entire process took several minutes.

Then the parents began reading to her from the menu and asking her what she wanted to eat. She was obviously having difficulty deciding, so her parents began making suggestions. “Perhaps you’d like this. You had this once and you liked it. How about trying it again?” No, she didn’t think so, so her parents went through the process again…and again…and again.

Single File - April 2023

Susan Deitz

Dating With Grown Children

Single File - April 2023

Dear Susan:
I've been divorced for three years and dated on and off, with many one-time dates. For the past year, I've been seeing a man very different from me in many ways. His life has been harder, and he hasn't had the opportunities that I've been fortunate to have in my life, such as education and a stable family life. During the 20 years of his marriage, he often worked two jobs to help support his wife while she completed college and they raised two children. I really enjoy this man's company; we have fun when we're together, and he always lifts my spirits. He is tender, caring and a hard worker and has values comparable to mine.

Skating Uphill - April 2023

Judith Lawrenson

Living a Healthy Lifestyle

Skating Uphill - April 2023


“Nature’s Calling
(and I’m not talking about the bathroom)!”
– The Uphill Skater –

 
We refer to nature as “Mother Nature” because we believe nature also has the power to nurture. Of course, with storms (hurricanes, tornados, snow) all over the country this year, this concept may be hard to believe, but if one looks at the totality, it becomes obvious. Our surroundings bring us not only beauty, but also pleasure. Living in and with nature as we do in the Lowcountry is a great example. What an absolute joy it is to live in such a beautiful place, surrounded by some of nature’s most treasured and pristine waters. This is all ours to enjoy, but also to care for, and yes, to nurture; it goes both ways.

Reel Corner - April 2023

Donne Paine

80 for Brady

Reel Corner - April 2023

Walking away with seven Academy Awards, Everything Everywhere All At Once surprised the crowd by winning Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actress, Best Supporting Actor, Best Original Screenplay, and Best Film Editing.

If you are not familiar with the film, it is loosely described as when an interdimensional rupture unravels reality, and an unlikely hero must channel her newfound powers to fight bizarre and bewildering dangers from the multiverse as the fate of the world hangs in the balance.

Directed by Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, collectively known as the Daniels, Everything Everywhere All at Once is a sci-fi action adventure about an exhausted Chinese American woman who can’t seem to finish her taxes.

 

Pink Prescriptions - April 2023

It's All Pink

The Sex Talk: You've Got Questions..We've Got Answers

Pink Prescriptions - April 2023

I used to love sex, but now it’s painful. What can I do to revive my sex life?

If your sex life went from “Oh my!” to “Oh no!” there are a few common reasons and ways to try to revive the connection. Childbirth and pregnancy change the vagina and can result in painful sex for at least the first year after delivery. The weight of the uterus during pregnancy stresses the pelvic floor and can cause weakness and lack of support. This can change the angle of the vaginal canal and clitoris, which then changes sensation for both partners. If the beautiful new baby came through the vaginal route, there can be resulting tears or episiotomies which can cause long term scar tissue and pain during sex. Even C-section moms have changes in the pelvic floor due to the pressure of the baby’s weight during pregnancy. Imagine this change happening to the pelvic floor with multiple pregnancies over the years, the results are compounding and can create lack of sensation, pain with penetration and urinary incontinence.

Parenting March 2023: Play, Have Fun & Remember… You’re Not Your Child’s On-Call Playmate

John Rosemond

Living With Children by John Rosemond

Parenting March 2023: Play, Have Fun & Remember… You’re Not Your Child’s On-Call Playmate

Q: I have two boys, 18 and 33 months. How much time each day should I spend involved in activities with them? Also, they chase one another around the house and other sorts of roughhousing, but they hardly ever play with their educational toys. Is there some way I can get them interested in these things?

A: The notion that parents need to get down on the floor and play with toddlers a certain amount of time each day is very post-1960s (i.e., without substance). If you feel like getting down on the floor and making a block castle with one of your children, do so. On the other hand, if you don’t feel like it, then don’t. Your children should not learn that you are an on-call playmate.

Single File - March 2023

Susan Deitz

When You Find Out He’s Engaged

Single File - March 2023

Dear Susan:
Hello! I've read "Single File" for a long time, and it seems you put a great deal of thought into your responses. You seem to know much about people and relationships. Something has bothered me for a long time, and I sincerely need closure on it but am having a really hard time doing it. About six months ago, I met a guy, "Jay," through a mutual friend. We had an instantaneous connection. It was nothing I had ever felt, and his eyes told me he felt the same. But here's the kicker: He was engaged to another woman. We started talking a couple of days later online and just clicked and clicked and clicked. One night, we decided to meet for a harmless drink after work—foolish to think that's all it would be—but we were weak and intrigued by each other. We never slept together, but we did things we shouldn't have. I fell for this guy so hard. I didn't know what to do. I got scared and insecure and didn't want to feel second best.

Skating Uphill - March 2023

Judith Lawrenson

Living a Healthy Lifestyle

Skating Uphill - March 2023


“‘Reorganize Your Pantry!’
said every women’s magazine in the world.”
– The Uphill Skater –

 
I subscribe to at least four women’s monthly magazines and read them cover to cover. I am always looking for new stuff, and my magazines are fabulous resources. My husband is not on the same page, but he knows to expect the unexpected when it comes to what’s in the fridge on grocery shopping day, and he has come to expect dinner may or may not be something familiar to him. Another thing he is no longer surprised by: New decorative pillows as a regular occurrence, all thanks to the suggestions of my favorite magazines!

Reel Corner - March 2023

Donne Paine

80 for Brady

Reel Corner - March 2023

80 for Brady follows 80-year-old Lou (Tomlin) and her three close friends—Trish (Fonda), Maura (Moreno), and Betty (Field)—all of whom happen to be die-hard fans of the New England Patriots and its longtime quarterback, Tom Brady. The film’s opening scene catches up with Lou as she forces her friends to conform to her Sunday Night Football superstitions. That night’s game ends with a win for yet another Super Bowl match.

Rather than remaining content watching the Super Bowl from the comforts of home, Lou decides she and her friends have to be there in person for once. Of course Lou has an ulterior motive for wanting to desperately see the game with her friends, but 80 for Brady, thankfully, doesn’t go too far out of its way to hide her motivation.

Pink Prescriptions - March 2023

It's All Pink

Americans Run on Sugar and Caffeine and it Shows

Pink Prescriptions - March 2023

Increased work hours and waistlines, less home cooked meals and even less sleep, all result in an increased intake of caffeine and sugar. It’s a vicious cycle. The average American consumes 17 teaspoons of sugar and about 135 mg of caffeine every day. While most are doing pretty good staying under the daily maximum limit for caffeine (read below for details), we are killing ourselves with sugar. However, if you’ve developed a daily habit of energy drinks, you’re not doing yourself any favors with caffeine, either. We wanted to find out the toll caffeine and sugar are taking on our health, so we went to the experts, and here’s what they had to say:

Parenting February 2023: Finding Order with Toddlers and Teens

John Rosemond

Living With Children by John Rosemond

Parenting February 2023: Finding Order with Toddlers and Teens

Q: I’m a single mom who works from home. At noon, I pick up my 5-year-old from half-day kindergarten. Because I’m unable to pay attention to her while I’m working, she wants to watch television for the rest of the afternoon. We have a no-TV rule on school days, but I find myself unable to enforce it. If she isn’t watching TV, she’s at my door, complaining of boredom. Help!

A: My mother was single for most of the first seven years of my life, during which she worked and attended college. When she was home, studying or writing, she made it clear that her work was more important than my whims. Did I want more of her attention? Absolutely! Did I suffer because she created and enforced a boundary between us? Absolutely not!

Single File - February 2023

Susan Deitz

Fear of Being Hurt and Shifting Your Focus

Single File - February 2023

Dear Susan:
I met a wonderful woman a few months ago. She is genuine, warm and honest. She recently announced she had to stop seeing me because if she let herself go, she would fall in love with me; at this time (three years divorced), she wants only a casual relationship. We’ve talked about this before, and I’ve been patient but persistent. We agreed to see each other exclusively. I think most of her problem is fear of being hurt. She says she doesn’t want to hurt me if she never decides to make it permanent, but I think it’s my responsibility, not hers. How do I handle her fears?    —From the "Single File" blog

Skating Uphill - February 2023

Judith Lawrenson

Living a Healthy Lifestyle

Skating Uphill - February 2023


“There is so much beauty surrounding us,
I hardly know where to begin.”
– The Uphill Skater –

 
Sometimes I gush a little bit. But I have been known to gush a lot if it is about the right thing. Love of our beautiful Lowcountry is, as it happens, just exactly the right thing to gush about. Having lived on Hilton Head Island for 14 years, let me tell you it is, along with the whole area we call Lowcountry, the perfect trifecta of people, scenery and food. 

Reel Corner - February 2023

Donne Paine

Lessons in Chemistry, Women & Empowerment

Reel Corner - February 2023

Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus
A NYT Bestselling novel and soon to be Apple TV Series

Starring: Brie Larson, Lewis Pullman, Aja Naomi King,
Stephanie Koenig, Kevin Sussman

Set in the early 1960s, Lessons in Chemistry follows Elizabeth Zott, whose dream of being a scientist is put on hold in a society deeming women belong in the domestic sphere, not the professional one. When Elizabeth finds herself pregnant, alone and fired from her lab, she musters the ingenuity only a single mother has. She accepts a job as a host on a TV cooking show, and sets out to teach a nation of overlooked housewives—and the men who are suddenly listening—a lot more than recipes, while craving a return to her true love: Science.

Pink Prescriptions - February 2023

It's All Pink

Take Heart: Heart Disease is the No. 1 Killer of Women

Pink Prescriptions - February 2023

Matters of the heart are serious, especially when it comes to heart disease—the most serious disease today for women of all ages to pay close attention. In all its elements, more than any other female medical condition, heart disease is No. 1, and in this case, that’s not a good thing. It’s the No. 1 cause of stroke, disability and death in both men and women. Once thought to be only a concern for men, women need to take heart when it comes to their heart health.

Is your waist size creeping up? Are you eating more healthy foods than processed foods on a daily basis? Is your sweet tooth out of control? Is your body communicating any signs or symptoms? Are you paying attention? These Pink Prescriptions’ heart healthy answers to our questions, provided by our local panel of neuro and cardiology experts, are the facts. Please read on, and then, tear these two pages out to post to your corkboards and refrigerators as life-saving, heart reminders.

Parenting January 2023: Boundary No. 1 is the Marital Bed

John Rosemond

Living With Children by John Rosemond

Parenting January 2023: Boundary No. 1 is the Marital Bed

Q: Several months ago, my husband and I allowed our five-year-old daughter to sleep with us for a couple of nights. We thought this was innocent, but she began crying hysterically when we tried to move her back to her own bed. We compromised by letting her keep her iPad with her until she fell asleep but quickly realized that her device keeps her awake well past OUR bedtime. If we try to make her turn it off, she becomes highly agitated and it’s just not worth it. How can we get her back in her own bed without dramatics?

A: I can help you get your daughter back in her own bed, without a device, but “without dramatics” is a non-starter at this point.

The pertinent question: Why do you and your husband have difficulty making decisions that upset your daughter, especially given that the decisions in question—she sleeps in her own bed through the night and without an electronic insomnia machine—are good ones?

Single File - January 2023

Susan Deitz

Single—Finding Interests and Filtering Friendships

Single File - January 2023

Good & Bad Reasons to Have Sex

DEAR SUSAN:
I read your book "Single File" a while back and now want to reread your list of good and bad reasons for having sex. Knowing more than I did then, I'm sure I will make some changes —From the ‘Single File’ Blog

DEAR BLOGGER:
Before we start, a broad smile of gratitude from this columnist for your willingness to take another look at your reasons for having sex; the willingness to rethink choices in such an important part of life shows growth and flexibility. Bravo!

After reading each reason, write "yes" or "no" next to it. Undecided takes extra time. You decide whether each is good or bad for you.

Skating Uphill - January 2023

Judith Lawrenson

Living a Healthy Lifestyle

Skating Uphill - January 2023

“They say the best teachers are good learners,
and you should learn something new
every day.”
– The Uphill Skater –

 
Being schooled, getting trained, taking lessons—these scenarios conjure up some old corny cliches for me. They say the best teachers are good learners, and you should learn something new every day. They also say you are never too old to learn, and we go to school every day of our lives. I happen to be a big fan of corny old sayings, and especially some of these, because they are all, to my mind, somewhat true. 

Back in the day, I was a teacher, and I loved it! Even though I no longer work, I am still teaching. I taught my grandson how to read; I taught my dog how to fetch; and I taught my neighbor how to crochet. That may not sound like much, but as a benefit of all of this, I learned a great deal.

Reel Corner - January 2023

Donne Paine

Holiday Edition

Reel Corner - January 2023

Ahh January! To most of us January is all about renewal, resolutions and packing up those holiday memories. For those in the film industry with award season right around the corner, January takes on its own meaning. It’s all about the buzz. Here are a few films people are Buzzing about.

The Fabelmans
Director: Steven Spielberg
Michelle Williams, Gabriel LaBelle, Paul Dano
Growing up in post WWII era Arizona, young Sammy Fabelman aspires to be a filmmaker as he reaches adolescence, but he soon discovers a shattering family secret and explores how the power of films can help see him see the truth.

Pink Prescriptions - January 2023

It's All Pink

NO-besity! Now is the Time to Lose the Weight

Pink Prescriptions - January 2023

There is one thing for sure when it comes to obesity: It is not good for you! While the fashion industry and pop-culture are starting to veer away from stick-thin models, the “big” trend is swaying to meet its over-sized consumers, but that doesn’t mean being over-sized is healthy. Fact is, obesity is a leading contributor of almost every disease, from diabetes to heart disease, to high blood pressure to joint pain. The great news is any amount of weight loss—even 5-percent of your body weight—may help the possible invasion of disease recede!

Make 2023 your 5-percent year! Even if you weigh 200, all you have to lose is 10 pounds to help your body get a little healthier—literally less than a quarter pound per week. Find a program that fits you, one you will enjoy, and most importantly, that you can sustain. Don’t make this year about losing weight and then gain it back. It’s time to just lose it…because your health has so incredibly much to gain if you do!

Parenting December 2022: Craziness No More

John Rosemond

Living With Children by John Rosemond

Parenting December 2022: Craziness No More

Q: My husband and I recently visited our son’s family. We live two thousand miles apart, and with the pandemic and all, hadn’t seen one another in several years. We were appalled to discover that they—our daughter-in-law in particular—practice “gentle parenting,” which seemed to explain our two grands’ generally disrespectful and disobedient behavior. When we confronted our son about the craziness in his household, he told us it was his wife’s “thing” and he was going along with it to keep peace. Is it us, or is it “gentle parenting”?

A: “Gentle parenting,” boils down to treating children as if they are rational, reasonable equals. That significant numbers of adults actually think a constant downpour of love will magically transform a child into a person of that description would be mind-boggling if it wasn’t just one more symptom of these anti-intellectual times. Furthermore, your son’s admission that he is only going along with his wife to keep peace is telling of the fact that in too many an American household, the father has zero say in how the children are being raised. The woman he refers to as “my wife” has all but completely abdicated her proper role. She’s a full-time mommy. He would be more accurate in calling her “my children’s mother,” albeit even “my” is questionable from a strictly philosophical perspective.