Sometimes, we just get stuck. Whether it’s something someone said, or a personal vilification, thoughts can linger long past the point of being unhealthy. True or not, thoughts can turn into defining beliefs and niggle us for days, months, years, or even a lifetime. Negative beliefs are notorious for snowballing out of control and morphing into a large, resentful and distressed snowman. Before you know it, it has shaped your whole life.

This is exactly what happened to six-year-old Julie Davis the day her loving parents shared the news that she was adopted as an infant. This information punctured her happy-go-lucky, young girl bubble, and she became stuck. She was devastated. Dark parts of her tiny soul were ignited and convinced her she was unwanted—a throw-away. “We all have a dark place inside of us, and we have to be able to rise out of it. I should have realized I was beyond loved by my parents, but I took it completely differently; I felt unwanted. I didn’t know the story behind my adoption, so I thought of it as ‘my mom didn’t want me. It followed me for years. Growing up was rough.”

Lisa Sulka was elected Mayor of Bluffton, SC in 2008. She has lead the fast-growing community ever since, not with a heart for politics, but with a heart for people and community. We caught up with Lisa to find out what’s currently making her heart sing and what she is “roaring” about in this Hear Me Roar Q & A session.

Our theme this issue is #Motivated, and everyone knows how high your energy level is for serving Bluffton and all you do. We have to know what motivates you to embrace this public servant job with such heart?
This is easy—I love love love this town, and I have no personal agenda other than doing what it takes to make it a place where our children will either move back to or stay. I grew up with parents who believed in giving back and helping others. They are a major influence in my life as they also loved my hometown, Prosperity, SC, and were always part of the success of it. My mom actually ran for mayor in the 1970’s. A little bit of the reason I ran was totally to honor her and all she wanted to do for our hometown. I am so happy she was alive when I won and also for many years after. Whenever I feel a slip of energy, all I have to do is go anywhere in town (from historic Bluffton, to the river, to New Riverside barn) and talk to residents, or just see how much we have accomplished and my motivational level jumps to a new high.

It was an especially beautiful evening in June. The weather was perfect, friends were gathered, and Wayne and Lynda Casper were holding hands on the upper deck of the Salty Dog tour boat ready to embark on a sunset cruise. They were shoulder-to-shoulder looking out at the water sharing how blessed they are to be living in such an incredible place. Wayne’s hands began to violently shake, then his whole body quaked in a seizure and he collapsed on the deck.

“Thank God that everybody who works on the boat knows CPR. And the captain immediately called 9-1-1,” Lynda said. “The EMTs arrived in minutes and worked on him for 25 minutes on that metal floor. The most amazing thing happened. All the people on the boat joined hands and prayed. Then the people in the restaurant came out to the railing and joined hands in prayer. It was like a movie, not real life,” she said. “It was super, super quiet, and the EMT finally stood up and gave a thumbs up and everyone yelled and clapped.” For Lynda, everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. She said that the ambulance ride seemed like the longest journey she’d ever made.

Nancy Fish, the Executive Director of The Sandbox Interactive Children’s Museum, grew up on Hilton Head Island in the 70s, graduating from Sea Pines Academy. She fondly recalls two special teachers who inspired her to enter the field of education: Eddie Ladd, her English teacher, and Mark Flowers, her art teacher.  She returned to the Lowcountry full circle 18 months ago to lead the future growth of The Sandbox, which is a nonprofit organization established in 2005. This favorite family destination for both locals and visitors embraces the principles of Maria Montessori, a 19th century Italian physician, educator and founder of the Montessori method of education.

Hometown: My mother was nomadic so I grew up everywhere; I was born in Atlanta, GA, but also raised in Arizona, Michigan and Virginia, lived in Madrid and that’s not counting all the states Radio has taken me.

Career: Owner of MIA TALKS, Media and Marketing; Program Director for G100 the Throwback Station, Public Service Director at DBC Radio and Radio personality on G100 and Rewind 107.9

Our theme this month is #BeTheDifference. What is something you’re passionate about that makes a difference? I am passionate about the success and elevation of all people. If I can spark one person, a room of kids, a room of business leaders to see their greatness, power, ability to make a deep impact and then pass that gift on to others, I feel like I have used my voice, work, leadership and power for the good of others.

Sylvia Tervoort, who hails from the Netherlands, speaks with a wide smile, shakes hands with the grip of a titan and is an excellent ambassador for the world’s seafaring industry. Since 2008 Sylvia has been a Salvage Master with SMIT, one of the largest maritime salvage and towage organizations in the world. This job title, usually held by men, is held by only one woman in the world and it is Sylvia.

Since early September, Sylvia, along with approximately 50 SMIT salvage crew members and other first responders, including the US Coast Guard and State of Georgia professionals, have been in the Golden Isles handling the salvage operation of the capsized Golden Ray cargo ship, which is lying on its side in the St. Simons Sound. The almost new two-year-old massive ship is more than two football fields long and has capacity to carry up to 6,933 cars.

A mama bear is how varsity coach Liz Nash describes herself, and it is her mama bear instinct that nurtures, teaches, protects and encourages her students. She has more than 20 seasons of coaching under her belt at Hilton Head Preparatory School, and this year 45 boys and girls are in the cross country program. Most of them have been with her since the sixth grade and many are now juniors and seniors. She loves watching them grow up.

Elizabeth Robin was a high school English teacher who only gave essay tests. “That way students had to convey what they thought,” she said. A deep thinker herself, multiple choice was probably just too cut-and-dry. Looking back, it all makes sense. Being a budding poet, unbeknownst at the time to even herself, pushed her to seek answers that explored the full range of possibilities far beyond a, b, c or all of the above. She loved teaching and excelled at it.

Elizabeth lived the world over as a “Navy brat” with parents who not only insisted she could be anything she wanted to be and do anything she wanted to do, but they were also living examples of this no-ceiling mantra. She was fluent in four languages by the age of 10. Her father, a NATO Liaison, carried on adult conversations with her when she was just a young girl, encouraging her early on to think, find her voice and speak her convictions. Her mother, whose life was cut short when Elizabeth was a mere 15-years-old, gave her books, took her to plays, movies and every museum in Europe. “I feel like my mother knew she wasn’t going to be around. She packed a wallop in 15 years!” Elizabeth said.

Blessings come in many different shapes and sizes. For Thomas and Rebecca Joyner their most recent blessing came wrapped in a pink baby blanket. On August 12, 2019 the Joyner family welcomed a cute, sweet, squishy, little human into the world, Nancy Margaret Joyner, named after both of her great-grandmas and the technical first child to be born of Thomas and Rebecca. Mom and dad aren’t the only ones obsessed with “Nan.” Besides the kisses from grandmas and snuggles with grandpas, Nan’s biggest fan is her older brother, Thomas Daniel Joyner, aka “Tee,” named after his daddy and Rebecca’s brother. Tee is the oldest Joyner child, adopted by the Joyners and taken home on day three of his arrival. “I am living the dream,” says Rebecca.

Thomas and Rebecca were not expecting to adopt. Three years of passing fertility tests with flying colors, and they still weren’t pregnant. When Tee came into their lives, life seemed like it couldn’t be better for the Joyners. When he hit 9-months-old, Rebecca had the surprise of her life. She was finally pregnant! Nine months later, Nan came into the world and they couldn’t be happier. “Tee is so outgoing and has such an amazing sense of humor, and Nan is so laid back and affectionate. I have the best of both worlds, and I just love them so much.” Rebecca says. “But it’s funny because, see, I would love to adopt again, and I would love to be pregnant again eventually. Thomas is like, ‘Haha, you need to slow down,’” Rebecca laughs.

What is Meals on Wheels? Meals on Wheels (MOW) is a non-profit charity starting it’s 40th year of providing nutritious mid-day meals to our homebound, elderly, ill, injured, or disabled neighbors in Hilton Head Island, Bluffton and Sun City. We deliver meals 5 days a week, 52 weeks a year, including holidays.

How can people be a recipient of Meals on Wheels? If someone cannot easily get to the grocery store, or prepare meals for themselves, they can contact MOW at 843-689-8334, or visit www.lowmow.org. We send a MOW volunteer to to meet with potential clients to describe our service and determine eligibility. Ability to pay for the meals is NOT a factor; we work with our recipients to determine what is appropriate. People can sign up for 5 days a week, or only a few days a week. They can receive meals long term, or on a temporary basis. If someone has had surgery, or is sick and only needs meals while recovering, we can also take care of that need.

“You know, my life is so blessed, I don’t even know what to tell you,” Ifetayo White said in voice so calm, so wise I could listen to her all day.

As we settled into the sunroom of her St. Helena home, where a wall of windows overlook her lush Lowcountry backyard, Ifetayo made a comment about the massive Live Oak she notices me gazing at with adoration. It’s easy to tell it’s sacred, with its lumbering limbs lovingly outreached as far as it can cradle. The tree is one of the reasons Ifetayo chose this house, although she says it chose her. It is tucked away down a winding dirt road deep within the spirit of the land of Gullah that thankfully hangs onto the edge of America.

Lowcountry locals and visitors alike, your next adventure awaits—and it’s closer than you think. Just ask Scottie Davis, a woman who turned her passion for travel and lifelong learning into a successful tour company for destinations only a few hours away.

It is a job that seems tailor-made for this energetic and engaging lady. Originally from the Mississippi Delta town of Greenville, Scottie went on to teach high school Speech and English and raise a family in Memphis. Her two adult children and two grandchildren now live in Atlanta.

After many years of vacationing on Hilton Head Island, Scottie, an avid runner and tennis player, moved here permanently in the 1980s. She also rediscovered a lifelong love. “I always wanted to write,” Scottie says, “but as a widow with teenage children, I learned very quickly it doesn’t work. So, I started writing when I came to the Island.” Her talent and enthusiasm soon landed Scottie regular columns for the Island Packet and Hilton Head Monthly, as well as the lifestyles editorship with The Islander Magazine. Scottie estimates she has written over 1200 articles to date, many about travel.

“In the first grade I won artist of the year at my elementary school in Indiana. From then on, I knew I saw things differently,” explained Chloe Strickland. Chloe is a 22-year-old, Bluffton raised, BoHo chic, gentle souled, incredibly skilled artist, and she is taking her talents to another level.

When senior year came around at Hilton Head Christian Academy in 2015, Chloe had already been taking art throughout middle and high school. Through the kneading hands of Louanne Barrett, HHCA’s art teacher, Chloe found her niche. When the calendar turned the page to September, Chloe was off, making her journey to Atlanta to the awe-inspiring Savannah College of Art and Design: Atlanta Campus. This was just the beginning of her prodigious adventure she calls life. With the rush of classes and the power to create, Chloe was in “Art Heaven.”

It was a crisp fall day in Kansas City when third grader Debi West, dressed in a white Bee Gee’s inspired pantsuit, was introduced to art class. It’s no wonder this memory burns so bright for the artist, teacher, mother and entrepreneur. It was the beginning of a lifelong pursuit of art.

“I was always creative. I would make my mark in the steam on the shower door, or take my finger and make my mark on the side of dusty cars, and then I would pick up crayons and make my mark all over my parents’ dining room wall,” she says, her laugh echoing over the phone. “I was that kid.” For Debi, her elementary art class, bright and early in the morning, changed everything. It was a chance to be celebrated for making her mark.

Thankfully, for her family’s sake, Debi has stopped making her mark on dining room walls. The mixed media artist teaches art to both young and old, writes for the Art of Education University, acts as a graduate assistant, designs and sells jewelry and is president and founder of WESTpectations, an educational consulting business that promotes the importance of art.

What is your biggest passion?
My biggest passion is singing

How does singing make a difference in your life?
If I am sad or feeling any type of emotion, singing helps me cope with it and puts me in a better mood.

When did you start singing, and at what point did you know it was more than just “singing in the shower?”
I have always sang, but I started singing with a coach and taking it more seriously almost 6 years ago. I’m 12 (years old) now.

Have you ever had stage fright?
I most definitely have! When I’m about to go on stage, I have immediate anxiety, and to help with that, I usually breathe. Then, when I’m next to go up on stage, I feel regret, like I don’t want to do it, but then as soon as I get up on stage and start singing, it’s like I’m star struck.

Against all odds is this month’s theme and Christine Mikouchi is a young lady who knows a lot about it. Her story shows us how intention, persistence and patience can overcome even the most difficult situations.

Adopted at  age five, Christine left everything behind: Her birth family; language; Japanese culture; even her name. With this exodus, she also escaped an existence of extreme abuse. Finding her world turned upside down, Christine faced a mountain of obstacles. The first, and one of the most difficult, was the expectation to bond with a new mother, who was one of the few foreigners (American) she had ever seen. Unable to trust, and suffering from severe Attachment Disorder, Christine persevered as her new mother and therapist patiently guided her through barriers and resistance common to the bonding process.

Dr. Hilary Drammis
Hometown: Phillipsburg, NJ
Clinical psychologist,
Mother of a handicapped child

Biggest Passion: My children

What did you want to be when you grew up?
I always wanted to get my Ph.D in clinical psychology and be a psychologist.
Where did you actually land in your career? I achieved my doctorate and had a private practice in Chicago until my son, Evan, was diagnosed as autistic. Then I quit my practice to focus on helping/treat him.

Tell us about your son Evan (pictured above):
My son is currently 28 years old, is profoundly deaf (has a cochlear implant) and is severely autistic (non-verbal).

Growing up should be the easiest time of your life. It’s a time when your imagination is allowed to run wild. It seems that the world’s problems bounce right off your sense of youth and innocence. For Imelda Golden, her adolescent elasticity could not protect her from the harmful and dangerous vices that grip some parts of the world.

Imelda was born in Yuma, Arizona, right outside Phoenix. “Living in the projects comes with baggage: Drug deals; thugs lurking; people getting mugged and daily shootings, but that was just a run-of-the-mill day for me,” Mel explained. In addition to the daily storm of danger, a period of homelessness and living in the family car was added to her family of five before they moved to South Carolina in 2006. How did they get through all of these hardships? Mel looked to her mom to be her rock. Mel’s mother made sure Mel and her siblings didn’t know they were living in poverty, or a bad situation. “I thought all kids lived this way,” Mel said.

When Pink Magazine publisher Elizabeth Millen first met George and Jean Lumley, they were reading the newspaper together on a bench in the entryway of Bayshore Retirement Community. Not a particularly unusual sight, but Elizabeth was struck by the genuine affection and contentment they radiated as they sat together on the bench. She stopped and introduced herself and soon learned that this couple, nicknamed ‘the lovebirds’ by Bayshore residents and staff, was a success story to be sure, but one with a slightly later start than Elizabeth had imagined.

George, now 94 and Jean, now 100, have been happily married for 23 years, meaning that they were in their 70s before they ‘took the leap’ as George charmingly puts it. Long time neighbors before fate stepped in, George and Jean’s story shows it’s never too late for second chances.

Having passion for your life’s calling is a tribute to yourself. Wellness advocate and clinical expert, Erin Risius lives her passion every day, helping others achieve the essential balance between a healthy body and mind.

Since 2017, Erin has served as Director of Behavioral Health for Hilton Head Health (H3), an internationally known residential health and wellness retreat center. Her work helps identify and improve her clients’ obstacles to wellness through the psychology of eating and exercise. “I get to experience how people transform their relationship to self-care,” she says. “I witness awakenings.”

Nicole Gardner
Founder of The G-Free Spot,
Coligny Plaza, HHI
Hometown: New Paltz, NY

General Passion:
Quality Results: No matter what it is I’m working on or involved in, I’m committed to achieving quality results and to always learn and grow from every experience.

What brought you to the Lowcountry?
Our family fell in love with the Lowcountry after our very first visit and decided a little over eight years ago to make the move. We love the outdoors, water sports and the sun; it was an immediate perfect fit for us and has been the most amazing journey, thus far.

From the time she was 15 years old, Jerri Barden knew she wanted to become a doctor. This seemed like an impossible dream, considering she was born in a charity hospital to a poor family. However, Jerri was blessed with bright, empowering women in her family and a healthy streak of determination. Her high school summer job as a nurse’s aide introduced her to the world of medicine and inspired her to become a physician. Despite naysayers, Jerri graduated from high school and enrolled at Mary Washington College in Fredericksburg, Virginia, as a pre-med major. Nothing was going to stop her from realizing her dream! She continued her studies at the Medical College of Virginia in Richmond, where no female had been accepted for the previous 25 years. Jerri was about to break through the “glass ceiling” for her first time. The second occurred when she was introduced to medical research while in medical school. Her mentor obtained a National Institutes of Health (NIH) research trainee grant for her, which revealed and illuminated the path to her future. Jerri became passionate about research, and her first scientific research paper was published in The Journal of Arthritis and Rheumatology.

The color pink means joy. It is known as the universal color of love, harmony, inner peace and compassion. To Donna Bafundo pink means all of this and so much more.

When retiring to Hilton Head Island 13 years ago, Donna found her passion in helping the elderly, especially those who have been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, dementia, or other memory issues. “I love older adults; I always have. I honestly feel that I am doing what I always wanted to do, but didn’t have the time earlier in life with my family duties and responsibilities. Retirement has made my dreams come true.”

The first career of Candace Blair was interesting enough. Twenty years as a high-powered finance executive on the trading floors of Zurich and London kept her moving through an elite world that few will ever see. But her second career, and the journey that led to it, is even more fascinating.

“I left in Jimmy Choos and came back in a turban,” jokes Candace, who recently returned to the States to start her business Soul Fire Social, a platform on which she shares the healing and self-development techniques that have transformed her own life.

Patricia “Pat” Denkler is a lady who is comfortable: in her home; her retirement; and especially in her direction in life. She and her husband, Michael Harris, live in a beautiful home overlooking the Intracoastal Waterway, surrounded by antiques, books, fresh from the garden flowers, and a sweet old golden retriever. Her serene life now is very different from earlier years.

Encouraged by the late Commander John McCain to apply to the Navy Flight Program in 1977, Pat became one of first women Naval aviators. There were approximately 15 women accepted per year into the Aviation Officer Candidate School (AOCS), and the training was rigorous. In her boot camp platoon, there were only two women in a class of 25. In preparation for the grueling physical aspect of training, she ran three miles in the sand each day to build up her strength. 

What is your rank and job title? 
I am a Marine, a Captain, an F/A-18 WSO (Weapons and Systems Officer), and Assistant Maintenance Officer. The fastest and most understood way to describe my pilot job is “Goose” in Top Gun, I am in the backseat.

As a child did you always dream of flying?
I never dreamed of, or thought of, flying as a child. I was very poor and only had hope to get out of my situation one day. I joined the Marine Corps after college because I had a very strong calling, and God would not let go of my heart, despite my resistance. After joining, I actually tried getting out of my flight contract during basic Marine Corps training because I wanted to be in combat sooner with my buddies, but God had different plans for me and proved that He knows what’s best, because I never would have enjoyed anything as much as I have enjoyed flying Hornets.

Her vibe is pure; her voice, powerful and effortless. Surely the Queen of Soul herself, Aretha Franklin, smiles down when she hears this R & B songbird belt out one of her classics.

St. Helena Island’s own, Gwen Yvette, is an independent singer, songwriter, entertainer and educator, living out her dream with her soul’s full consent.

Gwen has raised the curtain for mega-stars Patti LaBelle, Jeffrey Osbourne and Kem this spring. She’ll open for the O’Jays next month and is jazzed to be a guest performer on the UK tour, Soul Jones Collective, this coming October!

Kathleen Bateson has been the President, CEO, and Executive Producer of the multi-award winning Arts Center of Coastal Carolina since October of 1998. When she and her husband first saw the dirt hole that was to become the Arts Center of Coastal Carolina, she never imagined that within two years she would be invited to take the helm. Through her vision, determination and leadership throughout the years, the Arts Center has become the magnificent venue that it is today. On May 1, 2019, Kathleen was presented with the coveted   Elizabeth O’Neill Verner Governor’s Award for the arts in the individual category. Presented by the South Carolina Arts Commission, this award honors her for exceptional achievement and statewide impact through her leadership, support and advancement of the arts. The South Carolina Arts Commission is dedicated to developing and enhancing a thriving arts environment, which is essential to quality of life, education, and economic vitality for all South Carolinians. In 2006, Kathleen accepted the Elizabeth O’Neill Verner Governor’s award in the organization category on behalf of the Arts Center as a whole. Her list of achievements and accolades is astounding. She is a member and past president of the South Carolina Arts Alliance Board, has served as chair and founding co-chair of the Arts and Cultural Council of Hilton Head, and serves as chair of the Community Foundation of the Lowcountry’s Women in Philanthropy. 

Mary Rivers LeGree’s life has come full circle.

Born in the Coffin Point community on St Helena Island, Mary now lives a short distance from the bridge that connects downtown Beaufort with Lady’s and St. Helena Islands. Mary’s life has taken her on a journey through Harlem in New York City to Detroit and back home.

Mary moved to New York when she was 9 years old. Later, life took her to Detriot. The Detroit riots of 1967 led to the launch of many African American businesses. Mary worked for the president of First Independence Bank of Detriot, founded in 1970 and African-American owned. Her career path continued and landed her a position at Ford Motors, where she worked for 16 years. While with Ford she earned her B.A. at the University of Detroit. She later moved on to work for the UAW for another 10 years. Then in 2005, she had the opportunity to take a golden parachute and retire.

Sara Skaggs looks like a California beach girl, with curly blonde hair, a gorgeous tan and a beautiful smile. Actually, she admits to having grown up in San Diego. Her father was a career Marine, and they spent time at duty stations on both the East and West Coasts, finally deciding Beaufort is home. Sounds like a Pat Conroy novel, doesn’t it?

Sara and her family, Mom Sheri, Dad Russel, and her 4-year-old son Oliver, love spending time on the water. They enjoy Hunting Island State Park, a beach house in Ormond Beach, Florida, and boating and fishing in their aptly named boat, a 239 Key West, “Just One More.”