As I was checking out at the grocery store, the young cashier held up one of my items and asked me what it was. “It’s a yellow squash,” I said. She proceeded to search for the item number so she could ring it up.

“Is it butternut squash,” she asked?

“No. It is yellow squash. It may be under summer squash or crookneck squash,” I replied.

As she continued to peruse the sheet of paper for the item code, it dawned on me she must not eat vegetables—a sign of the times—at least not any form of squash. I understood how this girl could make it to her 20s and not have ever eaten squash, but to never be in an environment to even be able to identify it is beyond pathetic. Am I the only one who ever purchased squash through her register line? Even more puzzling: How does one get through 12 grades of school in America and not know what squash is?

Look on the bright side…it’s bright. If it’s that simple, why doesn’t everyone look on the bright side, think positive and hope for the best? Numerous studies have proven those who think positive thoughts experience better health, greater prosperity and more happiness than those who dwell in negativity.

Unfortunately, many people still choose to approach life with a grim outlook—always expecting the worst and downplaying good fortune. Some people can’t see the silver lining in anything.

I was bullied. Yes, as a child, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m referring to last week. I was bullied just last week! It took me off guard and hurt my feelings right when I thought I had the sticks-and-stones-may-break-my-bones-but-names-will never-hurt-me theory under control.

So why am I writing about it? Definitely not to dwell, stew, or perpetuate drama. I hold no grudges, other than applying Maya Angelou’s philosophy: “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” I am writing about it because I was surprised by its sting, which made me empathetic to other adults, and flashed me back to childhood for a momentary connection to the cruelty so many children face on a daily basis. In essence, it reminded me of how crushing bullying is.

I know. It’s February, the month of love. Sometimes it doesn’t matter if you are a Miss, Mrs., or Ms., February can be a tough month to get through. There are so many expectations surrounding Valentine’s Day that many begin to compare their relationships, or lack of relationships, to the unrealistic romantic fiction coming out of Hollywood, or to the love birds who constantly post their never ending happiness on Facebook.

Here’s the good news: This month doesn’t have to be difficult. There are so many aspects of love to celebrate and way more to the whole love thing than just being in a relationship. This year, whether you are involved a great love affair or not, celebrate love for all it can be.

For the most part, I gave up judging people about the same time I gave up perfectionism. When I finally got old enough—actually wise enough—to realize I’m not perfect, nor do I need to be, I also relinquished that expectation of others. With the freedom of being released from the shackles of trying to do right, be right, look right and act right all the time, I learned judging others, just like judging yourself, is usually premature and always unloving. In addition, it is binding to the persons on both sides of the judging.